Today is our first day without Dante. Moose is laying in all the spots Dante would lay in over the course of the morning. He even laid down to eat his breakfast like Dante did. Essie is moody. She wants to sleep a lot with bursts of manic energy here and there. Stella isn’t quite sure what is going on. She knows Dante isn’t here and that everyone is sad, including herself. This is the first time she’s lost someone. Essie is closer because she’s been with Dante since she came here as an 8 week old puppy. He is the last of the Old Guard (we had four dogs when we first got the house after Dante arrived). Moose was the one who would nudge Dante to get him to play and get him to run around. Kinda like a grandson trying to keep his grandpa active.
Dante’s last moments were his first moments on a beach. Our vet is right on the water. No it’s not all posh and expensive as it sounds. They are actually one of the cheapest vets up here who give better quality care than a lot of the over priced places. Anyway… I’d forgotten that he had never been to the beach. It was funny watching him with the waves. He wasn’t at all sure about them. They would come in and he would step back. It was too cute. But because they were nice enough to let us use the beach and to put him down put there I opted for cremation. I was just going to bring the body back and bury it here because I didn’t feel right leaving him there because the place scared him. But since his last moments were outside and not in a room I decided to go ahead and have it done.
I took one of the sleepy pills last night to try to get some solid nights sleep but Mother Nature had other plans. I was just rolling headlong into one of those deep deep sleeps (oh how I miss them) when I feel Essie crawl between my legs and start shivering. Then Stella is sitting bolt upright next to me staring straight out the bedroom door like Jason is there to kill us all. I sit up to see what is wrong and sly Moose (suddenly cured of his storm fear) stretches out behind me and promptly goes back to sleep. A huge flash of lightening (it was like a massive strobe coming in the kitchen window) and the whump and rumble of thunder not long after has Essie shaking and even Stella started to quiver. I finally turned on the light to sooth the girls (thankfully not power flashes of there would’ve been no sleep at all) and we settled back in for about half an hour before the next storm rolled in. That on was blessedly short. Even so Stella was upset enough that she started panting. She’s never done that before. We kept hearing Dante’s walk through the house last night too. I told him he was going to miss the thunderstorms that night. It was like he was pacing from room to room. Not often. He had a certain way of walking because of his back and hips. Knees too for that matter. But you’d hear his special thump shuffle in different rooms.
I wonder if burning the body will send his spirit on so he can’t visit anymore so he was trying to get it in while he could. Max visits once in a while but he was buried. I think all the kids I have visit on occasion have been buried instead of cremated. I know to a lot of people I sound like I have gone off my rocker. That’s ok. These are my beliefs not yours and they aren’t hurting anyone so please don’t try to change my mind.
I have to remember that meeting tonight. I am worried that with everything going on I will forget. I have forgotten a few things, like punching out from work yesterday. I was in such a hurry to get to Dante I completely forgot. I realized after I’d gotten home. I sent an email so I hope someone can fix it for me.
Well I have blathered on long enough. Thanks for reading. Cheers