Saying Goodbye

I really don’t want to be writing this.  Nor do I want to go to work.  I will drop off Dante and tell them not to do the surgery.  His leg is too bad,  I know what it is and at 15 years old he shouldn’t have to go through an amputation.  I will ask them to make him comfortable until I get back around 2:30pm and I will say goodbye.

He’s been right by my side pretty much all weekend.  His breathing has been labored all week.  He sounds like he’s in a deep sleep dreaming but when I look he is awake and watching me.

I hope I can get him into the backseat.  I also hope work understands I will be a few minutes late.  I think they will be I am looking for the worst.  I also have a ton of stuff to do at work since my last day there was Wednesday.  Not really looking forward to it.  I already have three emails that I have to answer.  No idea how many vehicles will be going out today.  Did I mention I’m not looking forward to any of this?

I was having a good hard sleep until Moose woke me around 2:30am.  No idea why.  But he purposely woke me up.  Maybe I was making a nose dreaming?  I don’t know.  I’ve pretty much been awake ever since.

Our neighbors across the street have been out of town to be with her Mom as she passes.  This will be a very sad end of the street this week.  Essie is already showing signs of depression.  She knows what is going on and why.  Moose knows something is up but he’s not sure what.  Only that I am upset.  Stella knows something is wrong too but she doesn’t know what to do to help.  She tried cuddling with Essie and Essie just gave her a snarl.  That is not normal for her.  So I am glad I have tomorrow off although I do have a meeting I am covering tomorrow night.  I hope I can make it through.  We’ll see.  I will probably need to get out of the house for a bit anyway.

I did find the first photos we ever took of Dante.  He had just shown up in the yard and I took pictures to put on a flyer to see if anyone was missing him.  He was probably half the size he is now if not smaller.

Dante has come to cuddle so it is time to stop writing.