Last Post?

I almost did not do this at all this morning.  I am not in a good head space.  I don’t want to share my anger and unhappiness.  But I know if I don’t write this I will feel even worse.  The kids are all up and in my face for attention.  I appreciate their love but it is just making things worse.  I just want to be left alone.

The harder I try to do the right thing the more it seems to blow up in my face.  I am going to have to take the kids off their medicine indefinitely.  I just can’t afford the medicine.  And I feel like such a shitty parent.  I think that is what has started everything.  I can’t properly take care of them and I am mad at myself.  I hate that bills need to come before my family.

There seems to be no solution.  Atleast not a good one.  I don’t want to get a third job.  The kids are doing well with the schedule I have.  But what choice do I have?  I could sell my motorcycles and gear.  That would be some money.  Since it is beginning of riding season I would get good money for them.

I can’t write anymore.  Maybe I’ll be back tomorrow.  I may close this down.

6 thoughts on “Last Post?”

    1. Thank for the love. I know it will take time. I don’t want to give up the job. The hours let me be able to work on my writing and at the paper. And I really like the job. I get to help people and I enjoy the physical labor involved. It is a good combination for me. It has been many years since I actually enjoyed my job. I am not ready to give that up.


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