Life

Last Post?

1972italy

I almost did not do this at all this morning.  I am not in a good head space.  I don’t want to share my anger and unhappiness.  But I know if I don’t write this I will feel even worse.  The kids are all up and in my face for attention.  I appreciate their love but it is just making things worse.  I just want to be left alone.

The harder I try to do the right thing the more it seems to blow up in my face.  I am going to have to take the kids off their medicine indefinitely.  I just can’t afford the medicine.  And I feel like such a shitty parent.  I think that is what has started everything.  I can’t properly take care of them and I am mad at myself.  I hate that bills need to come before my family.

There seems to be no solution.  Atleast not a good one.  I don’t want to get a third job.  The kids are doing well with the schedule I have.  But what choice do I have?  I could sell my motorcycles and gear.  That would be some money.  Since it is beginning of riding season I would get good money for them.

I can’t write anymore.  Maybe I’ll be back tomorrow.  I may close this down.

Published by 1972italy

I have been writing since I was about six years old. I love it! I enjoy drawing word pictures and getting people to think in different ways. I have not done much other than my personal journal over the past few years because both fear and betrayal have locked my writing box up tight. I seem to have lost the key. So this is me trying to pick the lock. I also love the interaction with my readers. There are so many diverse voices out there! Talking with others helps me work through my own problems and (I hope) helps others with theirs. I learn much about other cultures around the world that I might not otherwise know. Writing is how I connect with the world.

6 thoughts on “Last Post?”

    1. Thank for the love. I know it will take time. I don’t want to give up the job. The hours let me be able to work on my writing and at the paper. And I really like the job. I get to help people and I enjoy the physical labor involved. It is a good combination for me. It has been many years since I actually enjoyed my job. I am not ready to give that up.

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