This mornings weather is very apt. We are in a very thick fog. I am too. I feel like I am hitting another wall. Things are going well and very much moving forward but I feel as though I am lost. I feel like… I don’t know how to explain it other than lost. Yesterday I was so happy about the first day of Spring, my fun article for the April Fools edition of our paper, bills were being caught up, work was fun. I had very specific ideas about what I was going to write on the blog this morning. Now it feels as if all that has come to a screeching halt. Nothing bad has happened. Maybe it is just little things I notice about myself that I don’t like. For instance I am doing less and less on the other writing site. On my days off I will go there but lately I find myself going to read someone else’s work and I just can’t do it. The piece isn’t necessarily bad I just don’t want to read anyone else’s work. I guess I need to start writing on there. I have not written fiction in a while (although I suppose my article is technically fiction… I am rather proud of it and will share as soon as I can) and that is what I feel I need to do there. But I can’t just randomly start something on there. That’s not how I write. My first draft (with the exception of this) of anything is pen on to paper. That is how I grow my writing. I can’t just throw words at a screen and hope they stick. I’m more of a bleed-on-to-paper-so-it-absorbs kind of writer.
I don’t know. Maybe I just need a change in routine. Maybe it’s because I’m doing the same thing every day. I’ve not had any meeting to cover nor have I gone into Traverse for anything. I’ve stayed home on my days off for the most part. I don’t know. I did take the kids out to doing my running around Sunday. I think it’s just me. I am too comfortable with things and I need to challenge myself. The rapid snow melt might be adding to this. The roads are pretty much clean, even of sand because we haven’t had any ice but we have had rain to wash it away. Unfortunately my bike is in the middle of his own snow mountain. About a foot or more around the bikes are clean earth but snow is still up midengine on my bike (lower on Chris’s because she is so tall). And there is all the mess in the driveway. There is no real place to park nor do I trust what we have as a driveway (it is all sand and extremely messy with the ice/snow melt combo going on).
I was talking to one of the transport guys yesterday and I made the comment that I probably wouldn’t ride my bike to work because it is all dirt and sand. It is much better suited to a dirt bike than a sportbike. His immediate response was, “Then get a dirt bike.” I stared at him for a few beats before I made the international symbol for no money, I rubbed my thumb and first two fingers together. But I had the same thought. Repeatedly over the last few months. I could go buzzing around the dirt back there practicing while I waited for the transports and pick ups. The idea has a lot of appeal to me. I just need to figure out how to do it.
Well I lied. With the warmer temps and rain the snow around the bikes since yesterday is all but gone. I almost dropped my phone when I went out to take pictures. I did take a picture of the driveway.
As you can see it is still mostly ice. I am tempted to see if I can find something heavy to break up the ice so it will melt faster. And I don’t want to use the crystals you sprinkle around to melt the ice because not only will it burn the dogs paws but it isn’t good for the ground nor the local animals. Even the “pet safe” stuff.
Good grief! I have gone on! Thanks for reading. I will leave you with hopes for a great day for all of us. Cheers!