Dogs, Emotions, Life, Thinking, Writing

A Little at a Time

Today I am doing as much as I can with my left arm.  My right shoulder has been steadily getting worse.  I do too much with my arms and am too flexible.  I should limit myself as I get older but the only thing that will do that is pain.  And even then I am guilty of pushing through it because things need to get done.

I feel a little better than yesterday mentally.  Not much though.  Getting more snow after warmer temps and most of the snow being taken away by either wind or sun didn’t help.  I am supposed to talk to Dad at one point today but I don’t know if I will.  I may wait til later in the week.  We’ll see.  The kids have been trying to cheer me up but at times it is just too much with everyone in my face.

This month is going to be very weird.  We got up this morning and Chris went to bed.  I’m not sure how he’s going to manage this for a whole month.  His new shift is 6pm to 5am.  It will throw us all off.  I forgot to ask how long he needed to sleep this morning.  With his old schedule it was until noon or so.  With decent weather the kids and I could be outside doing stuff instead of just sleeping and trying to be quiet.

I need to clean the laptop today too.  I am noticing fur and nose prints all over as I do this.  I’m trying to pay attention to things as I do them today.  Try to find some balance physically and mentally.  Typing this I notice that my right shoulder seems to be held higher than the left.  So I make it a point to even out my shoulders.   Everyone thinks I am weird because I have tried to learn to do things with both my right and left hands.  I can shoot pool, darts and use my bull whip with both hands/arms.  I can write with both but it has been a while since I tried it.  I can also drive a stick shift from either side.  I would like to try shifter paddles next but that is another story.  My point is if I learn to do it with either hand when something gets injured then I have a backup plan.  I’m pretty proud of that.  Weird or not.

Today’s challenge is using the mouse with the left hand instead of the right.  It is slower and awkward but do able.  Navigating is the trick since I seem to want to push the button at the wrong time.

I need to write my article today.  I wasn’t even going to attempt it yesterday.  But if I write it today I can read it over one more time tomorrow before I send it in.  Oh, I did promise a look at the April Fool’s Day article I wrote.

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Anyone who is a Jaws fan should enjoy it.  I actually enjoyed doing the research on that one.  I had to find the right place for the shark as well as researching the shark itself.  Freshwater sharks are an interesting bunch.  I wrote a lot more than what I sent in.  I described the shark and everything about it including gestation period and such.  It was pretty fun.  But I like sharks so it was a good excuse to learn something new about them.

I’d better get going on the new article.  Thanks for reading!  Cheers!

Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Life, Thinking, Writing

What Am I Gonna Do With Myself?

Today I am disappointed.  And a bit angry.  I tend to second guess myself when I try to do things out of my normal routine.  Like I got each of the kids a toy and a 6 pack of Oberon beer for Chris and I after work yesterday.  I am now worrying that I should’ve just spend that money on bills instead of a little something to brighten everyone’s day.  Then I get angry with myself because I seem to do this every time.  I start with the anxiety that I am doing the wrong thing.  My anxiety insists that this mistake (if it is indeed even a mistake) will screw my life up forever and I will be scarred.

Doing things like this shouldn’t be a big deal.  But sometimes they can be.  This is one of those times.  Sadly I will spend my day being anxious over money.  That is what it boils down to.  And I hate that.  Things will be ok but now that my mind has gone traipsing down anxiety lane I am envisioning everything that can go wrong.  To add to my frustration I went to pull the battery to charge on the motorcycle and the cable popped one of the screws free and down into the engine it went.  I have another (I think it will fit) but really?!

I am trying to focus on the good things and push the anxiety away but it will creep back up.  Right now it is doing a gradual headache.  Today I just want to be curled up with a book and left alone.  But I know that the family needs my attention so I will have to go for half of what I want.  Lol.

Stella did amazingly well with her new toy.  She did destroy part of it but she hasn’t destroyed it all nor has she gotten into her siblings toys.  I am very proud of her.  There were no accidents yesterday or today.  Although she may have eaten one of my hair ties.  But I am willing to over look that because of all she didn’t do.

 

Oh I am trying so hard to be positive right now….  I’m just not feeling it.  So I am sorry for the downer post.  I try to share upbeat stuff that people might like to read.  I was gifted another membership on my other writing site.  I feel like a traitor because I haven’t done much on there the past few weeks.  I finish up on here and shut the computer off.

I want to use that site to write my fiction but the well is dry.  I’ve been doing non fiction for so long I’ve forgotten what to do.  I could pull out one of my writing idea books and see if I can glean something from there to get me started.  I need to be writing on the site, not continually critiquing for everyone.  I have this one new writer who has fanned me and she is so sweet and supportive.  She will as me writing questions about this and that that she is working on.  So I need to set a good example and do some stuff on there.

I say this as I look down at my hands and pick at my cuticles.  I just don’t know.  Are my personal expectations too high?  I don’t think so in this instance.  But I need to find a way to not feel overwhelmed.  I need to find a way to break it down into small pieces that when put together will accomplish what needs to be done.  So I guess start there.

Maybe some more coffee and a book.  The kids are all sleeping.  I may grab one of my cozy mysteries to read.  An Agatha Christie or maybe an Elizabeth Peters.  Something to get my mind off all this inner drama.  Thanks for listening.  I hope you have a great day!

Dogs, Life

Quick Updates

I was able to read a little before I realized that it was getting late.  I can’t believe that it is Friday already!   And the end of the month!  Monday will start a weird month for us.  Chris will be working from 6pm til 5am all of April.  I am glad it’s only for a month.  It will definitely change things up for a bit!

I have someone coming in right when I get there this morning.  I don’t like it when they do that.  I have to not only punch in but I need to turn my heat on and then open things up as well.  But nothing I can do about it.  I will leave a little early and see if that helps.  They will probably follow me back.  Lol.  No one can ever find the place.

I think I will stop after work and get Essie a frisbee or two.  She has left her other outside and refuses to find it.  I don’t blame her as it doesn’t even fly anymore.  Tomorrow is the last day to get her frisbees on sale so I need to do it today.  I’ll drop the clothes off at a charity as well since I’ll be nearby.

Hopefully Stella won’t have any accidents while I am gone.  She is very good at night now but the other day she did her business on the floor despite having been let out before I left.  I am wondering if it might be anxiety.  I don’t know.  Dante plopped next to me on the floor since he’s come in.  That is unusual for him.  Normally he will just be under the table but he’s got to be touching me today.

Ok.  I need to get it together and get out of here.  I hope everyone has a good day!  Cheers!

Dogs, Emotions, Learning, Life, Motorcycles, Riding, Thinking

Ever Closer to Spring

I slept it and I’m not sure if it felt wonderful or not.  I certainly needed the sleep but Stella was making frustrated sounds (I think she was leaking again, a sad result from her abuse) and then she would hear things every once in a while and woof.  Once Chris was home things settled in better so I did manage to get about  or  5 or 6 hours of solid sleep.  I do feel a little stiff.  Part of it is the overcast skies.  It was supposed to rain last night but that never happened sadly.

I am excited to report that I can hear Spring birds chirping and singing out front!  What?!  I just checked the temperature outside and it’s almost 50F!  No wonder the kids stayed out longer than normal this morning!  Yipee!

The only things I really have to do today are laundry, make some phone calls and make puppy treats.  I should come up with a better game plan for Stella’s page and GoFundMe site.  I have been slacking off a lot and I need the help for her medical expenses.  I hope she has a few years of being able to be a pup before her body starts to break down on her.

I am trying not to think about stuff like that.  What’s done is done and I can’t change the past.  I can only do my best to give her a good life now.  And things are actually going well in life so I need to enjoy life instead of focusing on anything bad.  It is becoming easier and easier to revert to my old self.  I was worried I had lost that for good after working for Younker’s.  I am grateful I just hid it.

The driveway is mostly clear.  So this begs the question of whether or not to take the bike out.  If I am going to take him out then I need to check the battery and tires and make sure I have a good spot to park him when I get back.  I need to work on doing things with the bike and not being afraid to mess him up.  When I move the bike I’m always worried I will drop him or something and as a result I am too delicate with him and can’t move him.  But I will overcome this.  I will make mistakes and it will not be the end of the world.  I will not be a bad person.

The whole thing with making mistakes is difficult to work through.  I am doing amazingly well off the bike.  I think I can do just as well on the bike.  I give myself the ok to learn instead of being afraid to make a mistake.  It will take some undoing but I will get there.  I will probably need to wait until Chris gets up to do anything as Stella will probably start fussing.  I may try before he gets up though.  Since the bikes are right by the door they can see me the whole time.  It’s not like I’m going to the mail box.

It is almost time to make my phone calls and such so I’d better get going.  Cheers!

Creativity, Dogs, family, Life, Thinking

Rekindling Dreams

Last night I rekindled my love for ballet.  I wanted something different tot watch so I went to Hulu and found a documentary called Ballet Now.  It’s a behind the scenes look as the prima ballerina from NYC Ballet Tiler Peck curates the BalletNOW Program.  Not only does she do a magnificent job but it also reminded me about my buried love for dancing.  I always yell people that I took ballet and I even rekindled the love when I was in my s but never followed through.  After last night I think I may try again.  I still have my toe shoes. I probably am not going to have money for classes but that is ok.  I put a few DVDs on my Amazon wish list so I can get them when I have some money.

Yesterday I made a trip to town and went to spend some time with Mom and her two kids.  We had a good time.  I feel a bit guilty though.  It seems that my visit got Mom depressed after I left.  I thought something might be wrong but we were just chatting away and playing with her dogs so I never broached the topic.  We did talk a little about it last night before bed.

Well that is frustrating.  I got up early (extra early as a matter of fact) and I am no further than normal before I have to get moving to go to work.  Grrr.  I will leave you with some pics of Mom’s two kids and mine sleeping this morning.  Have a great day!

 

Aging, Books, Life, Thinking, Writing

A Little Something to Read

I got a small gift package of a book and journal from my aunt down in Florida.  A while ago she had asked me if I would like this book that someone had recommended.  She even sent a link but whenever I tried to view it my electronics went crazy saying that there was some kind of virus or bad thing going on so I could never access the link.  But me being me I said yes.  I always enjoy finding new authors and books to read.  And Aunt Heidi is very good about bird dogging things I would enjoy.  Once again she did not disappoint.

Truthfully I had forgotten about the book.  She and I try so hard to stay in touch but life and forgetfulness seem to intrude and we miss each other for weeks on end.  So when it showed up in the mail I was both surprised and excited.  I started it last night.  I made myself wait because I was pretty sure that if I started earlier I would be lost to the world.  It was easier to do that in bed instead of be upset a every little interruption.

The book is called “Moonbeams and Shooting Stars” written by Gwinevere Rain.  It was published back in 2004.  Now a bit of explanation here.   Yes this is a book geared toward female teens.  No I am not one but I get more out of reading a lot of the books geared toward teens because they don’t build on all the experiences that adults have had.  They are not dummied down.  They are simplified to life experiences.  And for me that is something I need.  I need to step away from all my experience and get back to my basic self.  It always amazes me when I read books like this and I feel my mindset reverting to how I felt as a teen and getting exposed to things for the first time.

Also a side note this is a Pagan book but the author has written it so anyone of any faith can use it.  I applaud this but there is a part of me that wonders if anyone other than a Pagan would read it and use it.  I would like to hope so but there are a lot of closed minds out there.

The purpose of the book is to help… well the cover says, “Discover inner strength and live a happier, more spiritual life.”  I find it refreshing that it is written by a teen for teens.  The author is a very smart and insightful young woman and I am looking forward to continuing to use the book and journal.  I wonder how many “adults” don’t think that a teen can know enough or have been through enough to know the meaning of those words on the cover let alone have a clue as to how to attain it all.  I would tell them to read the book and reserve judgement.  I do that with a lot of young authors I read.  I tell people to read the book, or the article or whatever it is.  Don’t worry about who wrote it.  Get the meaning first.  Then find out about the author.  I myself am always curious about a fellow writer so I find out about them first (even if it’s just off the book cover).

I am grateful that I have this book at this time of year.  As weird as this will sound I don’t think I would get as much out of it if I didn’t have the promise of Spring.  The weather is warming up and I can sit outside on a lot of days to read.  Things are feeling new and possible.  So as I make my way through the book I will share comments and insights.  I really like it so far.  That being said I think I will get back to it.  Cheers!

Dogs, Life

K9 Interviews 63 – Dante Xavier, Essie (Esmeralda Mae), Moose Kincade and Stella Marie

K9 Interviews 63 – Dante Xavier, Essie (Esmeralda Mae), Moose Kincade and Stella Marie

K9 Interviews 63 – Dante Xavier, Essie (Esmeralda Mae), Moose Kincade and Stella Marie
— Read on aguycalledbloke.blog/2019/03/25/k9-interviews-63-dante-xavier-essie-esmeralda-mae-moose-kincade-and-stella-marie/

Here are the kids! I am so excited! This is a great blog to follow if you don’t already…, personal biases aside. Lol

A big thank you to A Guy Called Bloke and Scrappy for including my kids!

Dogs, Life

Short and (yawwwn) Sweet

This will be another short one as I spent too long reading other peoples blogs.  Today feels busy now but there won’t be much to do at work.  And that is honestly fine with me.  I will catch up on paperwork and such.  It will also be another cold day, 18F as we speak.  And it was so nice this weekend…

I will be a bit of a zombie because I have actually been awake since around 5am before Stella threw up the tennis ball she had eaten (and when did this happen?!).  I wasn’t able to fall back asleep.  I’m sure this will hit me all once I get home tonight.  Come to think of it I didn’t really sleep much.  Every time I fell asleep it seems I started coughing.  The bedroom is wat too dry.  Or there is something wrong in there.  I don’t have the problem in the rest of the house but I try to sleep and I will get dry tickles in my throat or my throat will just get so dry that I start coughing and can’t breathe.  I did both last night.  Adding water to the air doesn’t seem to help.

I kept everyone (including myself) busy enough yesterday that we were all wiped out early last night.  I hated to leave Chris but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.  I’m not much better now.  Although that cold air hitting my face may help.  Lately I have been roasting at night.  Go to bed chilly and wake up a hot mess.  Lol

Ok.  Did a clock check.  I need to wrap up and get gone.  I hope everyone has a great day!

Dogs, Life, Thinking, Writing

A Quiet Sunday Morning (Mostly)

I spent pretty much the whole day outside from about 9am on yesterday.  The sun was shining and it warmed up to almost 50F.  I talked to both my parents on the phone.  I got most of the snow and Ice off the deck so the kids can walk on it without losing their footing.  I put the last of the bread heels out for the birds.  It was a good day.

This morning is overcast.  I am feeling very insecure today.  Like things are just not quite going to work the way they should.  Not that anything bad will happen.  But things are a little off.  So I may limit what I try to do today.  Try to keep the anxiety in check.  A shower would help but I need to wait until Chris is up to do that.  I could take a bath since the garden tub is officially cleaned out.  But it takes so long to fill… usually about 30 minutes.  Do I want to soak for a long time or just clean up?

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I’m pretty sure you should hear the snores coming from this little girl wherever you are in the world!  Holy cow!  Funny thing is if she’s not snoring at night I will wake up to make sure she is ok.  Poor Stella fell off the bed in her sleep last night.  Fortunately the mattress is on the floor so it wasn’t far.  Spooked us both.  I got her back up on the bed and safely curled back up in the crook of my legs.

It is interesting to watch the different colors of the sky as the sun rises.  Even when it is overcast the colors come through.  It can be grey then it will get a blue/orange tinge to it.  It was a soft yellow/orange for a bit but now we are back to brightening greys.

img_3900   Little miss here gets into the oddest positions and falls asleep.  If she happens to be in the kitchen on the floor she will curl up like she’s trying to get her tail and fall asleep with her head resting on her back hip.  Weirdo.

I feel a bit better after writing this.  Hopefully this will continue through the day.  It’s still an odd feeling to have weekends off and be employed.  I guess I’m still getting used to a “normal” life.  Part of me worries that I shouldn’t take the time off to learn scuba diving.  Not that I shouldn’t learn but I’m worried about finances.  That was something that woke me this morning.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’ll have some articles out in magazines and such and have that income?  If I expect that then I’d better get writing those articles!  Maybe that is something that I will do today.  I will sit down and try to put together some article ideas and get started sending out queries.  I have clips that are current to send out again.  I am very excited about that.  It is a good feeling to be able to do that.

That being said my two book reviews should be coming out soon.  I think the magazine comes out sometime in April.  But I’m not sure if it will be in SageWoman or one of their sister publications.  I had intended to get subscriptions to two of their publications but I can’t just yet.  I will add a picture when the magazine arrives.

I am dragging my feet.  I have some emails that I need to answer as well as somethings to research.  If I keep blathering on here then I can put it off.  But I don’t want to lose my readers so I’d better get going and get some stuff done.  Cheers!

Dogs, Emotions, Life, Motorcycles, Nature, Thinking

Spring Fever and Sibling Rivalry

I’m not sure if this will work today.  Atleast I’m typing on my laptop.  Internet is very very sketchy this morning.  Yesterday seemed to be doggy drama day.  Someone(s) got into a tub of lard and ate the whole thing (not sure how this happened as I was at work).  Stella was the obvious choice as her head was covered in grease.  However Moose was sick for most of the night.  I gave him some pumpkin and that helped for a little bit.  Then there was the bite out of the rim of Essie’s frisbee.  Again Stella was the obvious choice as that is what she does.  Finding bits of the plastic rim by her did not help her cause.  However when looking at some of what Moose threw up last night his morning in daylight I found the fabric from the missing bite of the frisbee.  So.  And those are just the highlights…

My husband says it’s stemming from Spring Fever.  Mayhap, mayhap not.  I think I have been seen as giving too much attention to Stella and Moose is trying to get her in trouble.  Essie will contribute in her way as well.  She will nip at her while I’m not looking and I only see the response from Stella or she will start barking at something to get everyone riled up.  Dante is too old to care.  Sadly I think he found some sick and laid in it or Moose got sick on his head because when I went to scratch his head at breakfast there were chunks (I thought it was snow at first) on his head.  When they did not melt I smelled them and almost was sick myself.  I immediately washed my hands.  Gah!

This weekend is supposed to be very nice (50F +/-) so if that is indeed the case then the kids and I will spend as much time outside as we can.  If the last of the mess from our driveway disappears I may even take my motorcycle out.  (Giggity!)  The sun is already up and shiny brightly.  This is a very good sign!

Speaking of which since the moon is still close to full I wonder how much of the northern lights we will be able to see this weekend.  I may actually stay up waaaay past my usual bedtime to watch.  I enjoy things like that.  I haven’t been able to do things like that for years due to the constraints of my previous job.  Being able to have a life and do things again is such an amazing feeling!

Ack!  I just checked the temperature outside.  It might look all sunny and warm but it is 17F!  It was about that yesterday morning but overcast and very windy.  I spent most of the day outside as a matter of fact.  Froze my tush off.  Two of my transporters got stuck trying to get vehicles.  But we got them out and they did manage to get what they came for so that is good.

I’d better post this while the internet connection is still working.  I hope everyone has a great day!

 

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Rogue