Month: February 2019

Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Learning, Life, Photography, Writing

Hope

1972italy

Another morning has dawned.  As I took some pictures for here I was surprised at the fact that as clean and clear as my phone camera was it still could not pick up the subtleties that I saw with my eyes and wanted to share with you all.  I could see the gentle shades of the soft yellow, orange, purple and blue shading but the camera could not.  Nor could I capture the contrast of the white hard frost on the many branches and limbs with the darkness of those branches and limbs without pulling in the picture close enough that you could only see that.  It reminds me that I need to replace the battery in my Mom’s old Cannon camera and learn to use it.

Whereas the weather may be crisp and cold outside all is warm and fuzzy inside.  I got a lot done yesterday and got home around 3:45pm exhausted.  Cold too come to think of it.  I did a lot of work outside and I had a hard time warming up once I got home.  But that is ok.  I am very happy to be able to do physical work outside again.  The stress from my previous job went right to my back to the point that there were times I could hardly move because it hurt.  I had a hard time riding my motorcycle or even taking care of the dogs (I wasn’t able to set their bowls down or pick them up some days).  I am excited about being able to work in my gardens relatively pain free this year.  I can say that because with the amount of hauling and heavy lifting that I have done in the two weeks I’ve been at my new job I haven’t had any problems.  No strains or pulls.  No limping around the next day.  All the shoveling I did I was sure I would pay for it the next day.  Nope.  Right as rain.  After almost 5 years of back continual back problems I can’t tell you how awesome this is!

Today will be spent doing research on the feature article I’m writing.  I did my interview yesterday after work (I should probably say my first job).  I think everyone including the man I was interviewing was concerned as to whether or not having me writing this piece is a good idea.  I’m not sure what kind of questions he expected me to ask or how in depth he wanted me to be.  Be that as it may I am still excited to do the piece and I think it will turn out well.

Many fun things happened yesterday on my other writing site.  I got entered into a special drawing, I got recognized for my interaction on the site with others… I was flattered!  It was also very unexpected because I was only able to do this before work yesterday.  I normally try to do something every day on there as well.  And I feel that I should be doing more on that site so being recognized for what I am doing is nice.

I’d better stop here and get going with my research.  I’m hoping to get the article written by this weekend.  That way if there is anything that needs to be changed there will be time.  Enjoy your day!  Cheers!

 

I liked the contrast I was able to get with this one.
I wish I could have captured how the ice on the trees sparkled as it warmed up!
Books, Dogs, Emotions, Life, Thinking, Writing

More Snow???

1972italy

I feel harried and rushed this morning.  I have to get to work and clean out a vehicle that will be picked up some time today.  After that I have to put some gas in the car and haul butt to an interview for the article I’m writing in Elk Rapids.  Did I mention the heaps on snow that fell overnight?  I don’t know if I’m going to have to dig out the gate at work again or not.  I hope not but…

I don’t like feeling like I’m behind the 8 ball right out of the gate when I get up.  This opens my mind to other worries which then take root and blossom.  I found a hard lump on Dante yesterday.  It is about the size of an avocado pit and as hard as a rock.  Not squishy like the benign lumps the dogs get as they age.  It had to have grown quickly because it wasn’t there the other day.  Essie seems to have acquired more of the squishy lumps lately.  I need to get them both in.

Atleast I was feeling good when I went to bed last night.  I’m rereading “A Year By the Sea” almost in one gulp.  I am making myself stop every few chapters.  Everything seems to fit my situation so I want to devour it all.  It has been one of my favorite books.  I keep it in the bookshelf beside the bed for emergencies.

Beautiful.   I just checked the weather.  Yet another winter weather advisory.  This one until 5pm.  2-5 inches of snow.  Well we already have that so my drive to Elk Rapids should be interesting.  I’m glad I have my Jeep.  I’m also glad my first job is right down the street!

The kids were so weird last night when we went to bed.  I had all three dogs have to lay beside me.  Essie curled up by my head and shoulders, Moose along my side and hips while Stella curled up along my calves and feet.  Chris’s side of the bed was completely empty.  Dante mostly stayed in the living room.  Normally he comes in the bedroom with us.

Ok, I just looked at the clock and I need to boogie.  I will share a pic of the mess outside.  Cheers!

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Dogs, Emotions, Life, Thinking, Writing

Finding the Balance

1972italy

Well the weather has calmed down so we have internet which means I can actually post today.  I have no idea when yesterdays post went up.  I tried from a few different places that supposedly had wifi but no joy.  So I’m sorry I didn’t read anyone’s blogs yesterday.  I did read some this morning though.

I did a lot of shoveling yesterday, both emotional and physical.  It took the heavy physical activity to help get through the inside mess.  I find myself deleting a lot this morning.  I’m still trying to figure out if I have a meeting to cover today or not.  They posted that the 7pm meeting is on.  Then a post right behind that they cancelled the 10am one.  When I messaged them they said that the 10am on replaces the 7pm one through March.  So why post that there was a 7pm one?  I’m trying to get a straight answer.  I will call them once they open and then call my editor.

I am also doing the front page feature article for the newspaper next week.  My editor called yesterday and asked if I could.  I am both excited and apprehensive.  I do my interview after work tomorrow and that should give me enough time to get the article written.  I will post a picture of the article when it is published.

My mailbox will be busy soon.  My aunt in Florida is sending me a book and a friend of a friend is sending me Pitty stickers for my car.  I am very excited for both.  The Pitty stickers are just because he noticed my love for Pittys.  Which I thought was too sweet.  I will share photos when I get the stickers as well.  Those may take longer since they are coming from Canada.

The pups were huge cuddle bugs last night.  Essie stretched out the length of me (after wedging between Moose and I) some time in the wee hours.  She NEVER does that!  Stella at one point was sleeping on me (still not sure how that happened).  Crazy pups!  This morning the girls are actually sleeping together.  Essie hasn’t been happy being around Stella the past few days.   I don’t know if she thinks she’s getting too much attention or what.  So I’m glad to see them together.

 

Stella in her tiny little ball.
out cold behind me.
Moose saw me taking pics of the girls and gave me the look. He prefers to have his photo taken. lol
Dante looking very stoic.

Well I’d better get going and make some phone calls to see what my plans are (if any) today.  Cheers!

Emotions, Life, Thinking

Anxiety My Old Friend….

1972italy

I don’t know when anyone will read this as we have no internet. The wind is calming down (down to maybe 30mph). The snow is almost too deep for the girls to walk. It’s even a struggle for the boys.

I have been awake pretty much since 3am with a very nasty panic/anxiety attack. I gave up trying to sleep around 6:30am. Even so I just want to go back to bed and try to sleep some more.

I find myself using phrases from my old job that don’t apply to my new one. Like I’ll catch myself saying (or starting to say) that I hate my job. I don’t. I like my job. And I don’t mind going even in crappy weather because it is just down the street. I am pretty much on my own and that is another nice aspect of it. The only reason I might start to say I hate my job is habit from my old job because I might not want to go.

I don’t know what else to say. I think I will get ready for work.

Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Thinking

Happiness, Because I Can

1972italy

I am happily surprised at the amount of positive I feel right now.  Last night was full of rain and two scared dogs (it seems that once any of our dogs get to 9 years and older the simpler things like a steady rain on the AC unit scares them… no idea why).  Not much steady sleep but really that is ok.  I have gotten up and I have my day planned out before me.  I have things to accomplish forward directions to move.

I got things done yesterday (we made our first batch of the apple treats we sell and the testers agreed that they were indeed good) but it didn’t fill me.  I didn’t feel as though I was moving forward.  I felt as if I was getting things done to do them.  So I could sigh and proclaim, “Finally!  This is done!”

 

This morning I am doing and happy about it.  I’m not sure why the change (the fact that we got rain instead of snow and the snow we have is melting?  the fact that I can smell Spring in the air when I let the dogs out?) but I am grateful for it.  I have taken care of a few little things once the kids were up.  Some major projects will have to wait until Chris gets up.

It is like someone flipped a switch and I am happy again.  I know that the bad stuff is there and I look at it, even touch it to make sure it is real (that’s when I can feel the anxiety slowly roll towards me like a tail of fresh lava) but that doesn’t change the happiness and positive feelings.  Now I fully realize this may or may not change but I am going to bask in it for as long as I can.  I have missed being happy and believing in myself.

I hope each one of you finds atleast one thing to be truly happy about today.  Cheers!

 

 

Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Welcome to the Weekend!

1972italy

We slept in this morning.  Essie was ready to get up at out usual time but was a sweetie and laid back down when I asked her to.  Work was funny yesterday.  I was slated for three pick ups.  By the time I went home (almost an hour later than I was supposed to) I had done six.  All by myself.  We only ha one pick up all week while my trainer was there.  Everything he wanted to teach me happened pretty much yesterday.  I think I did pretty well.  I haven’t heard otherwise.  But the company is a large one so I may not for a bit.

Outside is a dirty light grey.  Looks like a steady wind too.  Yesterday the sun was out.  Warm enough that I only had to wear my hoody.  That was a nice change!  Right now outside is how I feel.  Mellow and understated.  I need to read a short story for someone when I am done with this.  I may start writing my query letters for an article I wrote the other day at work (gotta love that).

Mom’s birthday is coming up.  I don’t know what to do for her.  We were going to try to get together and do lunch or something.  If I’d have remembered sooner I could’ve been working on the counted cross-stitch sampler I started for her back in my teens.  Dad took me to Joann Fabrics (or was it Frank’s?) and let me pick out something to make her for Mother’s Day.  I think I was maybe 13 years old or so.  This project is like my quilt Mom made me.  It was all by hand and was supposed to be for my Sweet 16.  I got it like 15 or 20 years later.  Lol.  I also have a ’67 Mustang that I was working on years ago (counted cross-stitch as well).  Maybe I will drag some of that stuff out today and atleast go through it.  I am notorious for starting projects and not finishing them.  Runs in the family.  Mom’s birthday is a week and a half away.  Not sure how much I could get done but I may give it a go.  I could take it to work as well.

I’m going to need to start looking  at boots as well.  I have my favorite leather cowboy boots that I have been wearing for work.  I keep threatening to get myself another pair.  When Chris and I have looked all I have found is the designer ones.  I am very basic.  I just want a plain pair of boots.  No design (they will be covered by my jeans anyway) and a regular heel.  Apparently I am in a minority.

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I need to clean and waterproof them this weekend as well.  Did I mention how much I love these boots?  Best $12 I’ve spent in a long time (courtesy my work discount and coupons when I still worked at Younker’s).

This weekend I’m going to try to not think about the problems I have.  I ma going to set myself some goals and see what happens.  I have enough to keep my busy but not too busy.  Working every day was nice (I love my shift) so this week will be interesting working every other day.  Although I have a meeting to cover Tuesday morning.

I’d better get moving with my day.  Amidst the gentle snores and sighs of the sleeping puppies I bid you adieu!

 

 

Dogs, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Anxieties

1972italy

This morning is going to be hard.  The guy training me had to leave for downstate last night and today I’m not only flying solo but I’m also doing things I’ve not been trained for yet.  I just hope I can get it right.  I’m supposed to get paid this week but I don’t know when.  I’m going to have to call to talk to some people about bills today.  There just isn’t enough money and the kids have run out of medicine.  Depending on what my paycheck looks like I may or may not end up going for a third job.  I was hoping not but…

I am trying to get a positive attitude.  Yesterday there was nothing to do so I was able to do some writing and reading.  I came up with an article idea and wrote the first draft as well as came up with places to query for it.  I am so scared that things won’t work out.  The shifts I’m working are perfect, the ability to still write for the paper makes me happy.  It’s the money (or lack thereof) that is ruining it all.  I had the happy balance this week.  Until this morning.

This may be short just because I want to leave early to get everything ready at work.  Everything should calm down there after 11am or so.  I hope.  If not atleast I will keep busy.  A lot of the little things got accomplished (like fixing up the office) yesterday in the down time.

The kids are all snoozing.  They have been so good all week about letting Chris sleep when I am gone.  I am very proud of them.  I need to make their treats this weekend.  I have been trying to keep up with the housework and I haven’t had the time to make them.  I may try a new flavor or maybe just make a double batch and do two flavors.  I will do more if I get any treat orders.  I had a few people who were going to order today because it is payday.  I hope they do.  If I can get three people to order three bags then I can get the medicine for the kids.  Then I wouldn’t have to worry for two weeks.

Ok.  Enough of my worrying.  Thanks for listening.  Til tomorrow!

Emotions, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Feeling Hopeful About Me

1972italy

Somehow yesterday’s post was posted but didn’t post.  I’m not sure either.  Hopefully from here on out I can keep my normal morning routine.   I am so very very tired.  Part of the problem is that instead of getting steady sleep from 9pm on I was awakened every hour to hour and a half by Stella barking at something.  I don’t know what.  Then Essie decided that she wanted to get up at 6am like we did yesterday.  I got her to lay back down until almost 7am.  I think I gave up at quarter to.

We had quite the ice storm last night after I got home.  I walked out to my car to put my wipers up and by the time I got back in my dry hair had a thin coat of ice on it.  Maybe a quarter inch or so.

I think today will be a bit of a boring day at work and that is ok.  There is nothing else I have to do to catch up with tasks nor is there anything to straighten in the office.  I have accomplished all that.  So I may be reading a book.  We have no deliveries or pick ups scheduled.  Unless something got picked up last night.  I’ll see when I get there at 8am.

I am looking forward to this weekend.  The only thing I have to do is read a story and give my critique for a writing friend.  She asked me yesterday if  I would and I told her if she could wait til the weekend I would be glad to.  Chris has the weekend off as well so we can spend some time together.  We see each other for maybe an hour anymore.  And that’s ok.  Makes the time we have mean a bit more.

I managed to do all the laundry last night before I fell asleep.  The only thing not put away is the load of jeans in the dryer.  Which was fine because my jeans were in the last load.  I do need to switch out dishes tonight from the dishwasher.  I also need to make the kids treats.  I’m dragging my feet til this weekend if I can.

The only really bust day for me next week will be Wednesday again.  Tuesday night I have another meeting that I’m covering so I will get up early the next morning and crank it out and send it in.  Then go to work.  Won’t be much sleep since it’s another night meeting and I’m not sure how early to get up to give myself enough time.  6am wasn’t early enough this week.  I hate the thoughts of 5:30am.  I’ll play it by ear and see.

Well I ought to start getting ready to go.  I hope everyone has a great day!  Cheers!

family

Day 2 with a Day 1 Recap

1972italy

Today’s blog is late because I ran out of time before work despite getting up at 6:15am.  I wrote and sent in my article before work.  I had no urge to do it last night once I got home.  I just wanted to settle in with the kids for a bit before bed.  As it was I did laundry and dishes before bed.

My first day was fun and laid back.  The job isn’t that hard and easy to learn.  I get to be outside (I will reap this reward come summer because right now it is cold and miserable out) and active.  The hours also allow me to keep writing for the paper.  For that I am extremely grateful.  Apparently the readers like my work because once people found out who I was at the meeting last night (one of the Council members decided to introduce me to EVERYONE in the middle of the meeting) I received many compliments.  That made me feel really good.  It wasn’t just my editor or friends and family patting me on the back.  These were strangers who read my work and liked it.  Rather like doing this blog.

Not much sleep was had last night due to the meeting lasting until 8:30pm but I was able to get everything accomplished that I needed.  And as I am happily home, showered and relaxing I am going to make this short.  I should be able to do this at my regular time tomorrow.  See you there!

Dogs, Emotions, Learning, Life, Thinking, Travel

The Next Big Step

1972italy

Well today is the day.  In about an hour I’ll be headed out the door for work.  I’ve only just started getting anxious so this is a good thing.  And I feel excitement in there too, another plus.  Yesterday I pretty much was going the whole time.  I put 160 miles (give or take) on the car.  The car also rolled over 100,000 miles while we were out.  He is my third car to do so.

The kids and I ran to Elk Rapids to get the paperwork for tonight’s meeting then back home.  Stella got sick just before we left.  I managed to get her out of the car before she threw up.  I decided I’d pick up the kibble when I was out doing the drug screening.  We got home around 10:45am or so.  I waited til a little after 12pm then headed back out the door to go to Petoskey for my drug test.  I wasn’t sure where I was going so I used Google maps.  Joke was on me because it took me 25 miles out of my way and I had to stop for gas on the way.  I got there late but that didn’t seem to be a problem.  I had to put more gas in on the way home (I had a quarter tank left to begin with and I had hoped to use the last of my money for kibble for the kids).  Since that took over half of what I had left in the bank I loaded up the car with bottles and cans (we get 10 cents a container when we return them here in Michigan) and headed to the grocery store to return the lot.  From there I headed to Tractor Supply to get the kibble.  I finally got home to stay around 4pm.  I was able to say good bye to Chris before he left for work because he was leaving as I was loading the car.

Today I hope to have enough gas to get to work and to the meeting and back tonight.  The meeting is now at 6pm instead of 7pm so I will need to leave earlier.  The meeting might last as long as 10:30pm.  I hope I get out of work at a decent hour so I can spend some time at home before I gotta run again.  Stella has had tummy problems all night so I don’t know how she will do when I am gone for work.  She got me up last night so she could go out.  I was grateful.

I went to bed early last night but did not fall asleep until late.  I don’t feel like I got enough sleep, but I normally do that when I am awake before I want to be.  I need more coffee.  I’m not sure if I should bring something to eat or not.  I guess I’ll wait til I get home.  My hands smell like WD-40.  Our sliding glass door is sticking again so I tried to spray the bottom slider but the can didn’t want to spray much of anything despite being half full.

I guess I ought to finish this and go try to get ready.  Cheers!