Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Thinking

Missing: Me

I am exhausted so I’m not sure how well this will go.  The dream I remember from just before I woke up I had to go back into a store and get my stuff out of a locker.  The one thing missing was my purse.  Anyone who knows me knows that I hate purses and do not carry them unless I absolutely have to.  But I think the meaning for me was I lost my identity, who I am.  I remember needing my id for the evening’s festivities.  I am losing me.

So where is this elusive being going?  Or hiding?  I have a feeling that I am slowly uncovering her but something happens and I fall back into my old ways and cover her up again.  Fortunately the dirt around her is loose so even if I cover her back up I have a good chance of uncovering her at one point.  I don’t think I have managed to completely rebury her with no hope of escape.

To be honest I think this is why I am so bad at staying in touch with family and friends.  I am trying to find me and make a fresh start.  So I push everyone away from my past.  Not the right thing to do but there it is.  It just seems to be built in.  I get enough of my own issues so I will drift away from others and their problems.  I am trying to fix myself (or find myself…?).

That is my insight for the day.  I am falling asleep as I try to type this.  I may add more later or just wait until tomorrow.  Cheers!

agriculture backyard close up day
Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

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