I have no voice today. At least in the “real” world. I still have the one I write with. Although that one is a little hoarse too. I read other peoples words and they seem to flow without problem. Mind you I’m looking at the finished product as well as not knowing their writing process but that doesn’t matter. They have a seemingly perfect voice that they are singing with. And I gargle along struggling to find something to even say.
But I think we all have our struggles when we write. The wrong words come, if they come at all. We can write for hours in one voice just to find out it was the wrong person talking. But really isn’t that what it is all about? Trial and error? We are more like mad scientists some days. Throw a little of this and a dash of this… oh and what would happen if I did this to my character? It either works or it doesn’t.
My hardest thing to do right now is just get an idea. It has been so long since I let myself really write that I have forgotten how to create. One thing I used the other day was I picked two random objects from the room I was in and I had to do flash fiction with them. That actually worked pretty well. I got two pieces of writing from that.
But what scares me the most is that I may lose my voice forever. It was never this hard to get ideas in the past. Yes I did rewrites and editing but my stories would flow. A trickle at first but I always found my way and a whole new world opened up for me to explore and write about. Now? Now I feel like Victoria McQueen from NOS4A2. I need to find my ride to go over the bridge or even Bill Denbrough from IT and Silver. Silver would take him anywhere.
That is the real reason I keep this blog. I am afraid to lose my voice forever. Even if I just whisper here and there I can still be heard. Maybe I can get my voice stronger so I can sing louder. Maybe, just maybe, someone will hear me.