Well ladies and gentleman, this is a momentous day! They are actually here to put up our garage! It’s only been since May! With that being said the skies are gloomy but the kids are being quiet. They don’t know anyone is here yet. I’m hoping to keep it that way for as long as possible. I have the AC fan on for background noise.
But sadly my anxiety is way up right now. If they don’t get the garage and fence up before Sunday then we can’t go to Oklahoma. Money is tight. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing with my writing. It feels like everything is hitting the fan at once. And hoping to keep the kids quiet while they build so Chris can get some sleep is putting a fine edge to everything. I’m so tense I crackle when I move.
I do want to thank everyone who has taken the time to follow and read my blogs. It means a lot that you folks find something worth coming back for in what I write.
I guess today is going to be a type and stop sort of post. They knocked on the door because they needed an outlet to plug in. I have them quiet again but Essie keeps growling. So I type a few words and quiet her down. Repeat process. Now the power tools have started. Sip of coffee, hug Moose who is shivering in my lap, type a few words, calm Essie (thank goodness the other two are issue free right now), talk to the other dogs, type a few more words, sip coffee, repeat as needed.
I started reading “The Comfort Trap or, What If You Are Riding a Dead Horse?” by Judith Sills. I have had it for years (yay! I can use both hands to type!) but I never got all the way through it. Last night in a fit of desperation I pulled it back out and started again. Essentially it is a book about moving out of your comfort zone to get what you want and need. To get things changed. I have gone from one pit to another since I lost my job. When I was there I was miserable but couldn’t see my way out. Now that I am out I can’t see forward. I am stuck in place. Scared like a rabbit (but stuck like a deer in headlights) to move. I have made small motions of change but it doesn’t feel like enough. So I am hoping for insight and inspiration.
I have an awesome support group in my life. It’s just getting out of my own head and my own way that is the problem. Hopefully I can start moving forward and moving out of the way.