Emotions, family, Life

Where Am I

I have missed a whole day of writing.  Feeling under the weather both mentally and physically.  This would’ve been done sooner but when I turned the laptop on I had updates.  Those took an hour and a half to do.  I’m feel better physically but not mentally.  A week from today we will be leaving to go see his family (assuming the garage is done and the fence is up… if they aren’t then we will have to stay home).  I am trying to think good thoughts about the trip.  But if I let myself think too much then anxiety starts to creep in.  I didn’t get much sleep last night despite a sleeping pill.

It feels later than 10am here.  I did some journaling while I was waiting to get the computer going.  I also did some reading  I need to finish books.  Lately I find myself starting a bunch of books and bouncing among them but not really making an effort with any of them.  So I pulled out one of those and read a few pages.  I don’t want to focus on just one.  I get bored or my brain feels bogged down so I will go to another book.  Especially if I am reading non fiction.  I do that in small gulps depending on the subject.  Or if I focus too hard then I will pull out fiction to ease the brain.

My thoughts are all over the board too.  Outside it is cold and white.   I always hate this time of year because to me the world feels dead.  We go around like frozen zombies with our day to day lives until spring when we can thaw out.  There is barely any wind.  It is cold enough that there doesn’t seem to be many birds about.

I have made a friend on Writing.com but I’m not sure.  He’s probably fine but for whatever reason I am very leery about being friendly.  I don’t know if it’s me being paranoid or if there is something wrong.  I hate not being able to trust people.  I am inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt but lately my assume-the-worst seems to kick in more often than not.

Everyone is asleep and snoring.  I’d better take advantage of this and finish up what I need to do online.

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