Writing

My Tattered Dreams

I’ve just read a few blogs and articles on writing. One of the bloggers I read talked about how writing isn’t what it used to be. Now it seems to be a popularity contest. And I agree.
I don’t write very consistently anymore because there doesn’t seem to be a reason for it. I mean I write for me but I enjoy writing for others as well. I like the feedback, the connection.
Most of my writing friends are either no longer writing or no longer in touch. My husband understands but doesn’t get it. I miss having friends to talk shop with and bounce ideas around.
I was surprised to see that I had 22 people following my blog. This may not seem like much to anyone else but to me it means a lot. I just don’t know what to do with me and my writing anymore. So I try to keep plugging along on here.
I have my Facebook account and lots of friends there who check in daily to see what I’m up to. But somehow having a blog is different. It’s more serious. I’m putting myself out there in a writing community not just some social media.
I’m holding on to the tattered blanket of my dreams. Poor thing is very ratty and has countless holes. The silk has even worn off the edges. I am constantly trying to patch it and keep it from being too chewed up. Every once in a while I even find a tiny piece if silk I can rub my fingers on.
Guess I’ll just keep putting on those patches and keep plugging away at my writing.

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Uncategorized

A Good Winter Sunday

The Husband is playing his birthday gift (Assassin’s Creed: Rogue) with me as shiny scout. ๐Ÿ™‚ He has gotten every version for his birthday as they get released (handy his birthday so close to release dates). He enjoys the game play as well as the historical info. I’m in it for the historical info. They did their research!
They pups have played and had their chewy treat and all four are asleep. The Pitbulls are snoring. One of my favorite sounds!
The snow has stopped both outside and on screen. The game was creepily accurate to our weather these past few hours.
Everyone is content. This doesn’t happen very often for us anymore. So I am very grateful for this.
Hope everyone’s day goes as well!

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Lost

I haven’t written on here for a few months. I was so gung-ho about doing a blog again…. This is what happens. I am so pumped and excited about doing something but then it wears off. I get bored. Or scared. Or I just don’t know what to do.
I signed up for three classes online that I was soooo excited about! But I dropped out of two of them. The third I have done nothing with. Part of it is work. Things have become more difficult with lack of people to work and lack of hours. I am doing the job of atleast five people anymore. This is also the start of the idiot season. (I hate this time of year both because of work and because my motorcycle is put away for the season.) By the time I get home from work I have given everything I can….110%. I am exhausted. And I still need to take care of my animal family.
I am to the point that I resent my job. Hate is a word that fits as well. I give so much (especially dealing with the public) I have nothing for myself. Nothing. No hopes. No dreams. No energy. I am lost.
I would say I miss writing but I don’t know. It’s been so long since I seriously wrote. So long since I cared and trusted myself. I am an empty vessel.
I am optimistic for a while then something happens and it is all gone. I must start from scratch.
I find myself being negative a lot of the time it seems. The cold moving in does not help.
But I have my family and friends and I try to work thru it. I don’t think they realize half of what goes thru my head. It would probably scare them if they did!
I’m going thru various books hoping to find something to latch on to. Today I got one of my favorites from years past (no longer in print etc (think you Amazon!)). “Deep Writing” by Eric Maisel. I have started it many times but never got far because it was always a borrowed copy. Now I have my own copy.
As a Witch this time of the year always symbolizes looking within. I’m hoping to do just that. I just need to find the keys. Or a lock pick. Things have been locked up for too long.

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