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Trying to keep it all together

   My e-mail has informed me that I am behind on my blogs.  So here I am.  Feeling exhausted and a little down in the dumps.
   On the good side I have found my Kindle and it is awesome for watching my lectures.  We’ve had a few warm days (today is one of them and hopefully we get the rain to get rid of more snow).  Wednesday I had my hour and a half massage with hot towels and hot stones (been sitting on that gift since last August).  I tanned yesterday (don’t judge… it’s been dark and cold here and I need my vitamin D).  I’m still plugging along in both classes and doing pretty well.
   Then there’s the other side.  Suddenly this week I can only view my lectures on my phone.  They will not load in to either my laptop nor Kindle as they have been for weeks now.  Money is going out faster than I can bring it in.  Bills have gone up and pay has not.  Very scared as to what to do.  It would be one thing if it was just me but I have the family to think about too.  I still need tires for my car.  In a very very desparate way.  That will take a whole paycheck which is needed elsewhere (but I need the car to get to and from work).  The dogs are getting a little lethargic with these cold snaps and no sun.  And not enough attention with all my studying and work.  The house has not gotten attention for a long time.  Nor has the yard.  (I need to face that I will have to get out and work in the yard soon.  I enjoy it but the dogs take off on occasion so I can’t enjoy gardening or being out because I constantly worry about them taking off.  We want to get an invisible fence but I don’t know if we’ll have the money.)   If we change house insurance providers then someone will come out to look at everything and photograph.  The winter has been hard enough most of our fencing is down or coming down (being hopped over by the dogs doesn’t help).  The place is a mess.
   I feel lost.  I try to keep my head up and stay focused on the good stuff.  But lately it has gotten more difficult.  The first few hours after the massage were perfection.  But right now it just seems that I’m even more stressed. 
   I’m trying to do little things for myself to keep me going.  And I find issues with doing that.  Guilt and stress seem to be my constant companions of late.
   I will end this blog so I can do some more studying.  Thanks for reading my whine.  🙂

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