Life

Busy Busy Busy

Good morning everyone! A quick note from me as this morning is a bit busy. I will try to write a full post later in the day. This morning’s meeting in not via Zoom but in person. Since I dropped the Jeep off yesterday that means I’ve got to ride the bike. This also means I’ve gotten no sleep. I also have to write up the article from last night’s meeting. So I will write more hopefully later this afternoon.

Cheers! Be safe!

Animals, Books, Creativity, Dogs, family, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Hocus Pocus I Can’t Focus

I was in a panic earlier this morning as I had to reenter all my information for unemployment.  I am still a little anxious as I am not completely sure about the dates I entered being correct.  I am currently trying to breathe my way back to calm.  I have Stella rapped around a foot as she sleeps.  Moose is nearby but facing the window.  Essie I think is in the living room in the big dog bed.

Today is the day I take the Jeep to get looked at.  I am anxious because if this is going to be a major repair session it is going to get expensive.  Hopefully our mechanic got back safely from his road trip.  I will text him once I finish with this.  I’m glad I didn’t start worrying about this last night.

I need to get myself together today.  I have things that need to be done and I keep putting things off.  Like my class work.  I still have plenty of time but I have the basics done all I need to do it tweak it and submit it.  It shouldn’t take any time at all.  Unless I procrastinate and then it can take countless hours.  I got all kinds of stuff done around the house for the family but doodlely was done for myself (other than read the new book… and that was supposed to wait until I finished reading my surfing book).

I wrote a to do list last night in bed.  Hopefully I can stick with it.  I have a meeting to cover tonight.  I hope and pray that I can get the Zoom connection to work.  I’ve not reported on this meeting the past two months because the link would not work for me.  I need to just sit down and do things instead of well-maybe-later.

I didn’t take a single photo yesterday.  The funny thing is Essie will pose for the camera but if I am using the phone camera she looks away.

The first photo is with my phone. So I set it down and got my camera. The second photo is with the camera. I didn’t even have to ask her to look at me.

The dogs are getting antsy and I am not far behind. I’m gonna wrap this up. Thanks for reading! Stay safe and have a great day!

Animals, Books, Dogs, family, Life, Reading, Travel

Tell Sleep I Miss It…

I am so overwhelmingly tired right now.  Pretty sure I didn’t fall asleep before 2am.  Essie wanted to get up around 8am.  But of course I was awake and trying to go back to sleep since 6am again.  Moose was all about staying in bed.  Every time I tried to get up he draped his head across me to keep me laying down.

Chris and I did a little road trip and acquired two used AC units for the house.  One is still in the bed of the truck (I told Chris he can put it in his office as I prefer to keep my window open in mine) but the other is in the bedroom.  With the fan going it cools the room right down.  We need to lengthen the felt cover that is over the window.  Even with the blinds down it gets bright in there when the sun is out.

I got my latest reading material in the mail yesterday.  The debut novel The Bright Lands by John Fram.  It’s a mystery set in a small Texas town.  It reminds me of Christopher Rice and some of his early novels so I thought why not.  Even though I am still reading the other book I am going to start this one.

I got another box from Amazon yesterday.  Amazon UK to be exact.  It contained a 3-in-1 nail gun (it does nails, staples and little U shaped thingys) as well as cardboard letters.  What is this for? you might ask.  I know I did because I never ordered it.  I got ahold of someone from Amazon once we had gotten settled in (we were gone most of the day so the kids needed to be fed dinner, groceries needed to be unloaded and put away and the AC units switched out).  I was told that I could keep it. So I have a new tool in my arsenal.

I can’t keep my eyes open.  I’m going to wrap this up and then curl up with the book outside.  Thanks for reading!  I hope you have a great day!  Stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Love, Thinking, Writing

Finding the Motivation

The rain has gone away.  Yesterday was a much welcome cloudy with rain off and on all day.  It did cool things off a bit.  Back down to normal summer heat for a day.  The temperatures will be right back up there today.  And I am ok with that.

I seem to have run into a mental dry spell over the last few days.  No writing other than this and my journal.  I’ve been lugging one of my guitars around with the appropriate paperwork to practice playing but I’ve done nothing past tuning the guitar.  I have read a bit in the new book.  I seem to not only lost my drive but my focus as well.  I was moving forward with great strides and now… inertia.

Moose definitely has kidney disease so I ordered more kibble yesterday.  I got the lamb since he doesn’t seem too fond of the chicken flavor.  We’ll see how he does.  Essie didn’t eat this morning.  She started getting me up around 6am to go outside in a hurry.  I left the door open for her.  She had to go back out maybe an hour later.  Then once we got up for the day She went directly outside.  Moose wouldn’t eat either.  I wonder if it is because Essie wouldn’t.  He’s in here with me and I can hear his tummy doing hungry rumbles.  I worry that Essie’s cancer is more severe than we think.  They said they got it all out with the lump but I’m not so sure.  And her surgery scar isn’t healing correctly.  Part of it keeps getting opened back up.  Now that Moose has been taken care of I need to call and ask them about her.  That will have to wait until Monday.  Monday I am also dropping the Jeep off for Chuck to look at.  Soooo….

I feel so busy but I know I have plenty of free time if  I choose to use it.  I just need to not do other things, like watch tv.  Moose is dreaming.  It sounds like it is on the border of becoming a nightmare with the sounds he is making.  I am keeping the house up as well as the gardens this year (so much easier and rewarding being able to stay home).  But will I let myself blow off writing?  That is part of the reason I opted to pay for the course instead of taking the free version.  The other part is that I can get feedback from other writers.  If you take the free course you are limited as to what you can do.  If I pay for it and don’t do anything then I am wasting money.  If I take the free version I can blow it off because it “doesn’t count” for anything.  That’s what I did with the guitar class.  So I need to find my way.

On that note I need to get something written before Chris gets up for the day.  He wants to do some running together.  I would rather stay home but it is time together.  Thanks for reading!  Stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Guitar, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Up Too Early

It is a dark early morning.  The rain started a little yesterday but got serious in the wee hours of the morning.  I managed to get maybe a half hour out of each hour since 2am.  I finally gave up around 6am.  I didn’t get much done yesterday.  My mind was restless.  I know part of it is worrying about Moose’s test results today.  He goes back in to have his diagnosis of kidney disease verified.

I’m glad I checked the master bathroom before I shut the door when I got up this morning.  I noticed that the bathroom door was partly open.  I figured something spooked Stella and she had gone in there.  I looked in before I shut the door again and there she was still curled up on the floor on one of my rugs.

I got no further in my classwork.  I got my guitar tuned and cleaned up.  I pulled out my notes and diagrams for my guitar class.  And that is all I got done.  I had intended to write a review for The Fishermen this week as well.  Nada.  I am disappointed in myself but not.  I will just keep trying today.

I’m not sure what today holds but I will give it a shot.  Atleast I don’t have to water the gardens today!  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Guitar, Learning, Life, Love, Thinking, Writing

Guess Who’s Taking Classes…

Today’s big news is that I signed up for an online class.  Actually classes.  It’s a creative writing collection of courses through Coursera.  I am paying for them so I will get a certification at the end.  Chris didn’t seem too enthused when I told him.  He thought I would go for a photography class.  I don’t think he sees the use in me taking this course since I already know how to write stories.  His second guess when I said I was taking writing classes was journalism.  He knows I can earn money doing that so that would be normal to guess.  But creative writing seems like a waste to him.  Mind you he’s said none of this.  This is all what I am reading into his response.  I didn’t mention that I was paying for the courses.  (You can take all the courses on there for free but you won’t get certified and you might not be able to access everything available in the course.)

I am taking the classes because I am hoping that talking with other creative writers I can get more consistent with my writing.  And I am stuck in my novel so I am hoping that I can use that over the course exercises and get that back on track.  I already have ideas after the first class.  It started yesterday.  I have done everything but write the 250-350 word story and critique others.  I cranked out a rough draft last night before bed (one of the reasons I didn’t get to bed until almost 1am) and I hope to tweak it today and get it submitted.  The twist for it is that they have listed 12 random words and you need to use atleast 6 of them in every other sentence to create movement.  I got a bug after watched a bunch of diverse short documentaries last night.

So that is where I am right now.  This morning I feel a bit run down.  I felt like this last night so not sure if it is merely the continual heat or just me coming down with something.  I think I will wrap this up and go read or work on some writing.  Oh and they are letting me finish the guitar class if I want to (I was almost done before I stopped… maybe one or two hours of work left I think) so I guess I’d better tune the guitars back up and get at it.

Thanks so much for reading and thank you for your thoughtful comments!  Stay safe and have a great day!

Books, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Learning, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Feeling Very Zen

This morning I am writing from my office desk instead of in the living room.  It feels different but comfortable.  Moose is sleeping behind me on the floor.  The girls are in their usual spots in the living room.  Stella wandered in a bit ago to see what was up.  Moose followed me in and has been here the whole time.

There are things I still need to tweak in here (my orchid is on my desk but I may move it as it is sort of taking up room… not a lot but we’ll see).  I also thought of another shelving unit I can put in the master bathroom to help get some of my book piles off the floor.  It does feel rather peaceful in here.

I find that I am calmer and more open lately.  Anxiety attacks are all but gone.  I am making a conscious effort to move forward with myself.  I am less tense and less of a worry wart which is a very welcome change.  I am able to appreciate the moment instead of play “what if” all the time.  The heat has also helped.  Because it is so hot there is not much you want to do.  So I am reading more and I am reading new books.  I’m not rereading comfort books to lose myself in familiar territory.

I found a Netflix series that uses the same story idea that I started with for one of my current stories.  I am going through that to see what they did, mostly for ideas and to make sure that I don’t use the same things in my story.  I am very excited as I have gotten a few ideas of my own from watching.  I sit with my notebook and fountain pen handy as I see how the story unfolds.  It is Italian but dubbed.  I am of two minds about it.  Dubbed means I can take in the whole experience without trying to rush to read the bottom of the screen before quickly taking in as much as I can of the background and what is going on before I have to read the next line on the bottom of the screen.  The other side of that is that I would like to learn Italian and I do enjoy the sound of the language.

I have to be careful that I don’t spend all

my time in front of the tv in this heat.  It is easy to do since the AC is right there in the window.  I try to get out in the yard.  If nothing else I water Minion’s garden under the tree and set up the sprinkler here and there as needed.  And of course take photos.  I got some beautiful ones of the sky last night.  I even got the colors!

I see that this post is a bit longer than usual.  I will add some photos from yesterday and upload for you reading pleasure.  Thanks for reading and stay safe!

 

There is a dragon fly landing to the left on the tiger lilies.

Creativity, Learning, Life, Thinking, Writing

Cleanliness to Help the Writing Process

Yesterday ended up being a highly productive day.  Once I finished this I went and cleaned up my office, cleaned out my library (this is actually a walk in closet that I have put bookshelves etc in), vacuumed the whole house, washed the kitchen floors and cleaned a bunch of the windows (I focused on the ones that had the most dog snot on them).  I’m not sure why I am continuing to write out here in the living room.  I do want to write in my office.  It feels “right” again.  I supposed the simple answers are the AC is out here and the kids are too.  But the kids would come in my room if I went in there.  Sooooo…. Habit then.

Since I have done a lot around the house I guess I can focus on writing today.  And since I am feeling  little better some yoga.  I pulled out my yoga mat and block from my office when I cleaned yesterday.  Chris was shocked when he came in my office and saw everything I got done before he got up.  When I finished vacuuming he was nice enough to blow out the various filters from the vacuum for me.  He got a crash course on how to take it apart and put it back together.  The house does feel better.  I am trying not to look around and see other things that need to be done.  I try to clean every day but when the bug bites I try to go with it and that’s when I tackle the bigger projects.  That being said I also need to make sure that I don’t lose myself in that and not write.

I found that I don’t write in the current journal as much.  Part of it is because I am getting to the end and I am anxious to start using a new journal.  The other part just dawned on me the other day.  It’s too small.  The pages are too narrow and my writing feels confined.  Writing a page at night in a spiral notebook or something of that size I feel I can get it all said.  Even if I go on for a few pages in this journal I feel confined.  I got it because it was smaller and easier to cart around.  I guess that I need to pay attention from now on.

I think I will wrap this up and see what kind of trouble I can get into on paper.  Thanks for reading!  Stay safe and have a great day!

Animals, Being Pagan, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, Gardening, Life, Nature, Thinking, Writing

Feeling the Connection

Today I am trying new old things.  I have lit a stick of my Creativity incense and I am listening to music via my ear buds.  Back when I was deep into my writing craft I would start every session of writing with some incense that I loved and music.  Unfortunately my stereo has ceased to function many years ago so all my CDs have been unused unless it is in the car.  I miss that.  I miss the music as I write.  So, here I am giving it another go.

I have also started watering more of the back gardens.  I was just watering the bases of the milkweed to keep them healthy for the bees and butterflies but since I purchased a round sprinkler I can cover more area so yesterday I watered two new spots.  The milkweed and pots that had been watered the night before didn’t show any visible signs of needing water despite the heat so I did two other gardens.  I may do some watering in the front but they are to the north and don’t need as much as what I have behind the house to the south.

I also finally planted Minion’s garden yesterday.   When Minion died I took his pool and cut it so it would fir around the base of the tree but I had minimal dirt and no money to get more so I put what I had in and left it.  It’s been that way for about two or three years… three years.  Well I got a big bag of dirt the other day and I looked at it yesterday morning and then looked at the half hearted project and decided to finish it.  I had some seeds left over so I planted some food stuffs to the south and the rest is flowers.  I watered it well.  I stepped back and was pleased with myself.  Finally a long ago project done.  And it felt good to garden.  I will try to water them every morning after Chris gets up (the hose turn on point is just outside the bedroom window).

I am also working on my spirituality.  Working in the gardens has gotten me back to my Wiccan roots.  I find myself being more in tune with my surroundings.  I notice more.  I can walk through all those flowers packed with bees and once I say excuse me (or us if the dogs are with me) none of the bees or other insects bother me/us.  And those flowers are packed with insects.  No one gets stung or even dive bombed by irritated insects.  Birds will hang out in the yard while we are all out there doing whatever.  It feels good to have that connection with things again.

So that is where I am right now.  As well as some of the places I’d like to go.  Thanks for reading!  Have a great day and stay safe!

Aging, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Love, Nature, Photography

A Little Drama Goes a Long Way

This will be a much shorter post than yesterday.  I’ve not been feeling good the past few days and not been getting much sleep.  This morning I am really wiped out.  I don’t think much is going to get done today.

Dad has been having more and more panic attacks… severe ones.  They are getting more frequent.  I am trying to keep up with them but it is hard.  If I can get him to talk on Facetime I can usually talk him out of it.  It may take a few hours but it can be done.  I think Dad is realizing how much he is losing as he gets older.  He turned 78 years old on Thursday.  He has had both hips replaced, cataract surgery on both eyes, hearing aids in both ears…. then there are his physical and mental limitations.  All this is staring him in the face and he is terrified.  There is also the fact that he is gay and was not able to fully live openly until about 5 years ago when I encouraged him to move to Montreal and fulfil a life long dream.  Now he is seeing all that he missed and feels that he cannot have as an older gay man.  And all that keeps piling up on him mentally.  Each week is gradually gets worse.  The face that he is on lockdown doesn’t help either.  I am not sure what to do other than just listen.  His medication is losing it effectiveness as well.

So I am hoping that I don’t get any emergency phone calls today.  I need to rest but if Dad needs to talk I’ve got to be there for him.  I just called Essie in from barking.  She heard some thing (I thought it was someone on the 2 track) and went flying out to bark.  She sounded a bit intense and was heading to the opposite side of the yard so I saved this and went to see what was up.  Turns out the neighbor to the east of us (the trailer that burned down last summer, I guess the guy died in the fire (maybe if I had seen it sooner to call it in sooner?) and his son has been living in the house that they had been building just across the property) is once again fighting with someone.  It’s usually his girlfriend.  But in the past there have been gun shots so I try to get Essie to shut up and come inside.  I don’t need him coming over here to shut up the dogs with a gun.

I guess I will wrap up this drama filled episode and go outside and read for a bit.  It is still comfortable out so I will enjoy it before the temperature get too hot.  I’ve got some cool shots that I got with the camera yesterday that I will share as well.  I managed to sneak a photo of a hummingbird leaving the feeder last night.  When you look at the picture she is to the left flying at the camera.  I am pretty proud of that one.  I also took a bunch of a monarch butterfly that has been hanging around.  She even played in the sprinkler yesterday!  It was so fun to watch! I tried to photograph all sides of my faery rise bush. I realized I had been only taking pictures of one side. She is just bursting with blooms!

Well thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!  Stay safe!