anxiety, Automotive, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, Exercise, family, Food, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Try, Try Again

Summer seems to be going by so fast. We are already into July! But things have gotten done. Goals have been met. I just need to keep moving forward with it all. I need to do my class for the demos yet. Since my laptops are linked (same one just newer so the link was automatic… and no my boss did not know when he bought it) I will use my work laptop to take the class. I also want to get a rough draft of a newsletter done to show everyone. I want to see what they think and what they want to change or tweak.

On my personal front I did get my 15 minutes working on my novel before work. I got about a page done. I am forcing my brain to focus on it again. Once I get back into the story, I can get writing but making myself sit and focus on just that. That is the task. I made my list yesterday with the help of a master list I had pulled together last month. I have been drinking more water, but I did not exercise at all. I need to come up with a plan of action for that one. My goal is say 15 minutes a day. Just like my writing. It is a small and doable chunk of time. But each day will bring its own challenges. Maybe just a few simple stretches and call it good.

Tomorrow will be busy as I am opening manager than tomorrow night, I have my first meeting since I have been back. I need to remember to record my miles. It is such a simple thing, but I always seem to forget. (I get paid a set amount by the paper, but I need the mileage for income taxes.) So tomorrow’s post will be a bit brief. I am hoping to get my stuff done between jobs tomorrow, but we’ll see what happens. I am trying to go with the flow. Do as best I can each day and not beat myself up. Some days go better than others. Speaking of which I need to wrap this up and get things going before work. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Tattoos, Thinking, Writing

Time to Do

This morning has dawned rainy and cool. And that is ok. The downside of that is with all the rain is that the grass has grown shaggy. So that means a run on the mower later this week. I also need to trim back a few trees and bushes. I didn’t make any lists yesterday, but I did spend some time writing in my journal. I am going to try for my lists today.

I woke feeling a bit scattered. My thoughts and feelings seem to be all over the place. Going out and sitting in my chair (which is now on the porch by the sliding glass door) might help but I think I need to start doing things instead of thinking about it.

Yesterday I swapped the bistro set (I pulled out the second chair) and my blue chair. I was sitting trying to write in my blue chair and I was being plagued by biting flies. I would barely get a word written and I was swatting at a fly. If I ignored any of them, I got bit. So I put the chair on the porch and the bistro set on the grass and set the new umbrella beside them. Funny thing is now that they are there, I will need to move them to mow. Ah well.

This morning Stella stayed in bed. She was a cuddle bug all night. At one point we were sharing a pillow. Since Chris has this week off it will be good for her. She will be able to go in and out as she pleases.

A week from tomorrow I am getting my tattoo fixed. I am dreading having to deal with the artist. I don’t want the hostility. I am hoping he will surprise me and be civil. I will miss going to him. His prices were reasonable and for the most part I have loved all his work. But there it is. No more spontaneous tattoos! lol.

I should wrap this up and get myself doing something. I have some photos from yesterday to share. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Beginnings and Just Getting Started

I am trying to gear myself up to face the day. I let myself sleep in (again). I ended up working an eleven-hour shift yesterday. We were very very busy and I got to be manager and the courtesy/gas counter person. By the time my help started to arrive we were getting lines that reached the back of the store. And it pretty much stayed that way. Once my shift was over I gave a break (the night manager was scrambling to get things figured out) and then I spent the next hour or so doing my liquor order. It took me a while to get it all figured out on the new laptop but I did. I had my laptop balanced trying to get close enough to read the numbers on the tags to get my order in. We were wiped out of so many things! That is what took the longest. I had to order about 3/4 of what we carry. I even forgot to add the new shooters until after it was placed. I might try to add them today to see if they arrive on Friday.

We have friends that want to spend the day with us. I a) don’t want to really go anywhere and b) I don’t want to leave Stella at home by herself. I suppose they could come over if they wanted. I don’t know. I am mad at myself for sleeping so late. I feel as though I have lost a good chunk of my day. I slept about twelve hours. I want to putter around the house and I need to do some writing (spending time with other writers has not spurred me to more writing as I had hoped). I am just frustrated with myself. I feel as though I am doing nothing that I want to. Even if I am. I guess I am angry because of the things I am not doing. Again I am back to balance.

I need to make myself a list. I find that if I make a list then I can actually physically see what I need to do and make an actual check mark when I do it. Some days the sight of a small check mark can do wonders.

I did have a lot of fun people yesterday at work. One of my customers (well she is really a friend now) brought me an adorable little red bat that is a stress ball. His chest says “hell” but right below that in tiny, tiny print it says Michigan. (There is a real Hell, Michigan. We also have Paradise, Michigan and Christmas, MIchigan.) I adore this little bat! I used him quite a bit in his stress ball capacity yesterday. There were some moments….

Well everyone is awake so I am going to wrap this up. I will share a few photos including one of my little red bat. I hope everyone has a great day! Stay safe and thanks for reading!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Brief and Teary

This is going to have to be very short as I don’t have much time this morning. I couldn’t bring myself to get up any earlier. I’ve only got a few hours of sleep as it is.

Yesterday did go pretty well until I was shown the puppies we were thinking about getting. Then it all rather fell apart.

Today is Dad’s birthday. He turns 80 years old. How can he be 80? I need to send him a text and email later today. I don’t want to wake him up with any of his phone notifications.

I will add some repeat photos and try to get some new ones later today. Thanks for reading and stay safe.


Friends Make a Difference

Another late post. Company didn’t go home until around 3am last night and it was soooo worth it! I am blessed to have such amazing people in my life that I can call friends! They arrived with pizza and a special bucket of love for both me and Stella. The bucket (which I believe I will fill with ice and a six pack of Corona later today) has a bag of dark chocolate Dove candies, a bag of Rachael Ray treats and a small grey blanket wrapped up with a little balloon sticking in it that reads “Thinking of You.” They knew that today would be hard because it is Essie’s birthday. She would’ve been 12 years old.

I had forgotten that both of them write so it was nice to be able to enjoy time with both of them. We read each other’s work and voiced our opinions. It turns out we are all pretty good. If we can keep each other going through the year I think we all might be able to have something to publish. I think having someone outside of themselves to bounce things off of helped too. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that they preferred my original beginning to my novel over what I had cobbled together for class. I had been told to start in the middle of the action. So I did. It didn’t feel right for the story, but I tried. It was nice to hear from other writers that I was right. We mostly discussed our writing this time around. We didn’t put pen to paper. We were too caught up in exchanging ideas. The plan is to meet once a month and do what we did last night but my one friend wants to try to maybe meet once a week to actually sit down and write. Friday is the day we are shooting for since I seem to have that off on a semi regular basis. But we’ll see. I am very excited to have other writers to hang out with in person.

Stella was busy all day yesterday. Even before they arrived. I am shocked that she got up when she did. I apologized to her because I will probably inadvertently call her Essie today. It is another beautiful day so I think the majority will be spent inside. I need to set my alarm before I forget. Ok. I need to be at work by 5am tomorrow. It will mean a 9 hour day but that is a little easier if part of it is without people. It is going to be a zoo all weekend. I dread going in today. I don’t work but I want to see this demo that has been set up. There was a flurry of text messages yesterday from work because there was a demo gal there to set up and no one knew anything about it. So, I did the leg work and found out what was going on. There are free tee shirts involved and I want one! Besides, I deserve it for “working” on my day off! lol But honestly, I want to sample the wares (vodka sparkling water concoctions) because it we are going to sell them (they will be part of the beer department) I need to be able to recommend them and explain the flavors. So I will brave the crowds. I was hoping to be told when they were going to set up today but no word yet.

I see this is getting a bit long so I will stop here. I’ll share some new photos as well. Thanks for reading and stay safe!


Puppies and Storms and Dreams

I’m sorry this is so late. We had storms roll through in the wee hours, so I didn’t get much sleep. And I hurt something fierce. I did too much at work yesterday. I think the fact that it was day 6 did not help. I just realized that our oven isn’t working so I will have to find another way to make Essie’s cupcakes. Maybe I will just make a cake then. I might try the air fryer. That means I need to clean it out. I don’t want it tasting like everything else that has been in there.

I am to have company this afternoon as well. I am excited because it is my new writing partner. We have been trying to get together since we went to the writing event a few months ago. I will share with her what I was going to share with my class. I need someone’s input. I used to share with Chris, but we hardly see each other due to our work shifts. He has this next week off (I am going to try not to be angry jealous but… it will be one of our busiest weeks). He plans do get some projects done around the house.

I have my new laptop for work. I started laughing when I saw it. It is the same laptop that I am writing on right now. There are a few subtle differences but I think that stickers are going to have to go one mine so I can tell at a tire glance which is which. This also tells me that my boss is serious about things since it is a good laptop. I need to get a few things downloaded on to it. I hope today. I need to reach out to my coworker and get the info off his laptop onto mine. I have an order I need to make on Sunday. (I am going it at 5am so that will be a nice time to do it without interruption.)

Well everyone just got up so I need to wrap this up. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

dreams, family, Gardening, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Drifting and Wandering… Wait, Where Am I?

It is difficult to see this post through closed eyes but I am trying. I can hear various birds already at it. I just have to get through a few more hours…. We have been getting busier and busier. Which is good for the store but everyone is getting wiped out. Keeping staff is more and more difficult.

I was dead to the world when my alarm went off. I was in the middle of a dream about Dad. My brain has been arguing what words to use as I write this. Things like should I use the word difficult or hard? Then my mind will wander off. And I struggle to find it and get it focused back on task. It is going to be a long day. Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Holiday, Life, Love, Medical, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Rambly Me

This morning has dawned a bit chilly despite the sunshine. I am enjoying my first cup of coffee. Stella got up long enough to eat and go outside. I don’t blame her. I can barely keep my eyes open myself. I woke up at one point to glance at the clock trying to figure out if I had the day off or not. Just today and tomorrow. But my brain also remembers the last day off. That would be last Friday. With everything that has been going on it has been a super long week.

We got a good rain last night, so everything looks fresh and happy. I will get out with the camera and get some photos to share. I didn’t get any yesterday. My days are all starting to mush together. I don’t like it when that happens. I feel like a paint mix of many colors that is just is slowly blending together.

Stella has come out to lay by me. She is getting loved on, so she is happy. Tonight will be the hardest. I am closing manager so I could be home as late as 10:30pm. Then back up at 5am for work the next day. I might be asleep by midnight. I might not. I will be tired enough. I am worried about her hips though. I should probably start giving her glucosamine again. When she stretches she has loud popping noises. She did that when we first got her because her hips popped in and out easily from the abuse she’d had. We knew that she would have problems as she got older. She will be like her sister and not let on that she is in pain.

This weekend will be the actual start of the silly season. The National Cherry Festival kicks off in Traverse City. No one wants to be anywhere near Traverse this time of year. I should probably wrap this up. I am not really focusing on this anymore. I will go and get a few photos to share then get this posted. Sorry for the rather long ramble. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Aging, Animals, anxiety, Books, Creativity, Dogs, dreams, Emotions, family, Friends, Gardening, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, Reading, retail, Thinking, Travel, Writing

Sussing Out the Breadcrumbs

There is so much rolling around in my head this morning. My brain and body are finally to the point that when I crash at night, I crash hard. So I am starting to get some steady sleep. That being taken care of for the time being I am turning back to my writing. I am going to try to set aside time on my days off (to start with). I just realized that I signed up for the July NaNoWriMo Writing Camp. Oof. I did that in a peak of creative hope at the beginning of June. I can but try. I also sent an email to my editor at the paper saying that I was ready to come back. I hope I am not over doing things. I can but try. I am going to not doing much to doing a lot again. But maybe not. We’ll see.

It is pretty nice out so once I post this, I will take Stella for a walk. I should drive her to the park. But I have a feeling that if I plan to get any writing done, I need to just to our back 40. I am trying to focus on forward without constantly looking back. I will be turning 50 in a little over a month. I need to be looking forward. Not back.

I find myself wanting to stay home more and more. A lot of that is because I deal with people all day. The other part is that I am just not up to running around all the time. I need some down time. (This from the one who just filled her plate back up. Sigh.) But I also need new experiences. I need to be alive. Not in a fog reaching out for sleep. So I guess…. I guess I need to figure things out a step at a time. Time to make more lists!

Stella is restless. I don’t blame her. I haven’t spent much time with her lately. I am going to wrap this up and get her outside for a bit. Then I will write one page on my novel. I can do this. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, anxiety, Cooking/Baking, Creativity, Emotions, Food, Gardening, Holiday, Learning, Life, Love, Nature, Photography, retail, Thinking, Writing

Focusing on Forward

The person I want to talk to at the courthouse was not available today. So, I will try tomorrow. Meanwhile I am hoping to share some ideas about work with the store owner this week. Some of them are specific to my liquor department (I am bringing in new items and would like a small display on the counter), some I am incorporating other departments with mine (I would like do to a mixology class once a month and incorporate food pairings) and the last encompasses the whole store and possibly both stores (I will be suggesting a monthly newsletter). I am very excited about all the ideas. I realize that two of the three suggestions will probably be laid directly in my lap. But I am excited for them so we will see what happens. I think all three will benefit the store.

I did my first liquor order yesterday. As I wrote earlier, I added a few new things. Small but new. Hopefully those will sell and allow me to continue to add as the season goes on. It will be tricky though. I have to try to figure out what is selling to the locals versus what is selling to the tourists. Then I can lighten orders accordingly once tourist season is over. But it is doable.

I have spent a lot of my down time reading Duma Key. I had forgotten how really good it is. Especially if you can really relate to the lead character. I did get a few photos yesterday. I saw that my fairy rosebush was in bloom. It has been budding forever. I also had visitors in the form of butterflies and even a deer on the other side of the fence. She didn’t seem to mind me taking photos of her or talking to her.

Today has dawned a bit chilly. The temperature reads at 56F (13C). Yesterday it was almost 90F (32C). I watered my plants when I got home since we have gotten none of the promised rain over the past few days. My swing is out and I used it yesterday. It was weird to feel the tree move me when the strong winds shook it.

I see that I need to get myself together to get ready for work. I still have a few things around here that need to get done. Thanks for reading and thank you do much for the wonderful comments! They mean a lot. Stay safe!