Animals, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Mom’s birthday

After I get this written I am going to finish up my letter to my pen pal then take my shower so I can head out the door. Part of me is angry because I have to cram so much into my day off. One day off at a time can be a pain. But I am also grateful because I have a beautiful day to be out and about in. Hopefully there will be minimal idiots out.

Essie wants me to play and love on her. She has been in and out a few times since I started this. Stella went back to bed with her Daddy when she found out I was doing this. For a while she hung out in here getting scratched while the laptop was booting. And I think I hear her… yep here she is. She was very needy last night too. Part of that is because she wants her squeaky ball that I put up last night.

I am trying to not let my negative aspect get in my head. The negative aspect wants everything a certain way and no other. She also wants it all now. And to be left alone until she wants attention. And…. you get the idea. I want to have a good day today.

I told Mom that I would try to be at her house by noon so we could get going early. I am hoping we can do lunch then wander around a little downtown. It would be nice to be outside for a while. Maybe go and wander the local bookstore and Craft store. But that will depend on how Mom feels. Sometimes she can’t go far without getting too winded to walk. Fingers are crossed that it is a good day for her. She needs to be out more as well.

I guess I’ll wrap this up. I snuck a few photos on the way to the garage yesterday morning. The moon was still hanging out looking cool in the morning light. And of course the girls need to be shown off, lol. I am adding a cartoon that made me cry last night. It is very much me and really reminded me of Moose last night. (And my poor patient husband who has to deal with me.)

Thank you for all the wonderful comments and the support! Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Emotions, Exercise, family, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Just a Wee Bit too Early

Early this morning. Went to bed at a decent time but woke up at 3:30am and couldn’t fall back asleep until after 4:30am. My alarm was set for 5:30am. I am trying really hard not to bail on Mom for tomorrow. I am just so tired right now. That being said I did get some good photos of the moon while the girls were outside after breakfast. I think today’s post will be mostly photos.

My meeting was a bust last night. I tried to find the link to join the Zoom meeting but there was a glitch in their web site. I have the link for Monday’s meeting though. So there is that. I didn’t get anything done other than restarting my exercise routine.

I just don’t know what to do about tomorrow. I just want to stay home and rest. But it’s Mom’s birthday. And I did cancel last weekend. Well if I got to bed extra early and sleep in… maybe?

Yesterday was hard despite a good day at work. It has been exactly two months since I lost Moose. I miss him a lot. I try not to talk about it too much because I know a lot of people think that I should be over it after two months.

I hope today goes quick and well at work. I just want to get back home as soon as I can. I need to finish up my letter today as well. I didn’t have much time yesterday (even with no meeting) so I need to finish it and get it out today. I asked my other pen pal to let me know how long it takes for my letter to get to her so I can gauge things like birthday cards and such.

Ok, time to download the photos so I can get this finished before work. Sorry this is so short and rather blah. Thanks for reading. Stay safe!

Aging, Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Writing and Making New Friends

Here we are, another day. I’m a little concerned since I can feel a bit of heat through the top of my laptop. And why are my words so small? Hang on… Apparently the system keeps resetting it’s “default” size. My words have been different sizes all week. Today they were very very small. Anyway I hope my laptop is not on they way out. I have grown rather attached to it. I also don’t want to have to reset all my passwords on programs that I share with my phone.

I have found a few new blogs to follow (seriously?! The font went back to the tiny stuff from earlier as soon as I started a new paragraph…GRRRR). I also got my first letter from one of my pen pals. This gal lives in Maryland. I started a return letter last night. I hope to get it in the mail before this weekend. She has asked for this site address so hopefully she will like it. I am her first pen pal. I haven’t had a pen pal since I was in grade school. I had one in Uganda (I was able to meet him at one point) and another in…??? Hang on. I still have the letters. He was in North Carolina. I also found the ones from my pen pal in California. And I forgot the guy I was writing in prison. And I still have all those letters.

A friend at work wants a pen pal so I am giving her the site that I went to. I hope it helps her loneliness. I don’t think she has ever had a pen pal. This will be something new and fun for her. She’s excited about it.\

Mom and I are going to go to lunch for her birthday on Saturday. I am going to do my best to not back out. I will have to drive. The rate Mom is going she will have totaled her car before we get her moved out here. Backing up is not her forte and she seems to be taking her car apart a piece at a time. I am tempted to tell her to leave the car in the driveway instead of parking in the garage. Regardless I told her I’d pick her up (usually we meet somewhere so when we are done I can go straight home). I tried making reservations at various restaurants for us but NO ONE is taking reservations. So I will hope for the best that we can get a seat somewhere. I am thinking of bringing my camera. But I don’t want to leave it in the car while we eat (there is no place to stash it as I have no trunk, it is all open in the back).

Our box from Chewy arrived yesterday so when I got home I was finally able to trim the girls’ nails. They were getting way too long (and in Stella’s case sharp). As a reward for letting me cut their nails they each got a squeaky ball (I got a pack of 6 and a frisbee from Chewy). The house was filled with happy squeaks for about an hour. Then Stella killed the squeaker in hers. Once that happens it is only a matter of time before she tears into it. She was good and did not eat the pieces she tore off but she kept trying to get Essie’s (hers is still intact and squeaks) so I eventually had to put it up.

I guess I will wrap this up and get it posted. Both girls keep coming in to see if I am done yet. I am thinking about sharing other blogs on here maybe once a week. If you think this is a good idea and/or would like me to share your blog let me know. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Food, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Photos Over Words

This morning I feel like I’ve been hit by a Mac truck. I spent most of the night tossing and turning from an upset stomach. I think I’ve had maybe four hours of sleep. But bills have been paid and my medical information sent in. I also talked to both my parents yesterday. I tried to make reservations at various restaurants for Mom’s birthday but no one is taking them. It’s first come first serve. So here’s to hoping that we can get in somewhere.

I ordered some nail clippers for the dogs as the ones we had have disappeared. The girls’ nails are getting too long and I’m not taking them to the vet to have it done when I can do it at home. I can hear Essie pacing the house. I’m not sure what is up. She walks through the kitchen to the far window and back. Sounds like she is back on the couch. But for how long?

I am cashier and carry out from 11am until 7pm today. I hope we are slow but with the sun out I think it might be a steady day. I’ve not felt this bad in a while. But like I said I have sent in my medical information so once they receive it they can call me and set up an appointment. Hopefully it won’t cost an arm and a leg. And hopefully we can find out what is wrong.

There’s not much to talk about with this mental fugue I have. So I will share photos that I took yesterday. I read as many blogs as I could this morning. I wish that WordPress would let me read more but ??? anyway thanks for reading and all your comments! Stay safe!

Books, Creativity, Life, Nature, Photography, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Wrong Place Wrong Time

Oh what a night…. Being followed by the police, helicopters and a reaction to medicine. Sigh. It started innocently enough. A coworker asked me to follow her home (she lives next door) after work last night. She had a headlight out and a police car had pulled into the parking lot when it looked like she as going to leave. Instead she pulled to the back by where I parked. By the time I finished counting my till he had left. I follow her home. As we turn on to our road… there he is waiting. She pulls into her driveway and I pass him, grab mail and park in the garage. He sat there for about 30 minutes after we got home. She left about 15 minutes after we got home. When the officer finally left he went the direction she did. I locked all our doors needless to say. Maybe an hour or so later a helicopter flew very low over head. It wasn’t lit up at all but for three red lights. It passed overhead atleast twice. Around 1:24am (I looked at the clock) a heard a gun shot across Valley Rd (just Northeast of the house).

Oh and the medicine. So I took some melatonin to sleep since my mind was all over. That worked for an hour. Then everything started itching. If I got my skin to stop itching then my throat would start and I would get coughing. I’m sure the poor girls kept getting woken up. Stella at one point was trying to cuddle with me but I was tossing and turning and coughing.

On a good note: When I got seeds for the seed exchange last week I got a kit for cherry tomatoes. It has a small pot etc to start your seeds in. The average time it takes for seeds to germinate is 4-6 weeks. I have sprouts as of yesterday. That’s less that a week. Go me!

Today I just want to hunker in and do nothing. But I want to get some writing done today. I need to do atleast one review that I promised. I’m angry at myself because I have dropped the ball several times with my reviews. Most of the time it is due to circumstances beyond my control but there are those lazy occasions. (And when the venue doesn’t pay I find myself dragging my feet more than not.)

I got some nice shots of the moon last night. This time my Nikon out shone my phone camera. I didn’t have enough time to get the tripod out though. So I had some shots that looked pretty shaky. The clouds were moving fast to cover and uncover the moon (mostly cover) so I took the shots and hoped for the best. A few turned out.

Ok, I’m staring at the pile of books beside me. I need to get going and get writing. Thanks for reading and caring! Stay safe!

anxiety, Books, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Learning, Life, Nature, Reading, Thinking, Writing

Looking Forward and Looking Back

It was just cold and very windy out when we got up. Now it is white out conditions. Bah humbug. What happened to Spring? Ah well… atleast we are done with February!

I do want to thank everyone for their kindness and support over the past few weeks. It means a lot. Moose has been gone almost two months now. And then everything happening after that…

Last night I had all this that I wanted to say on my blog for today but now it is all gone. And I can’t write it then post date it to automatically upload. If I do that then I won’t write anything in the morning. That will throw off my routine. And if I break that part of my routine then I will have to start over. This has been the one constant writing for the past three years. Even if it has only been a line or two to say I wouldn’t be on it was something.

Yesterday I pulled out my copy of Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. It was my first writing book. It was even signed by the author. Point it I am trying to get back to basics. I am going through the book like I did when I was a beginning writer. And in return it is inspiring me like it did when I was a beginning writer. That was all I did before work with my writing. And I think it was enough for the day. I have tomorrow off so I am hoping to get some novel work done. My meeting isn’t until Thursday night so I am free and clear to write what I want tomorrow. I don’t think I will call my parents. Maybe just texting or email. There was less stress and anxiety Saturday. We’ll see.

I am just looking around my room. Many dreams and memories stored here. A lot of things I need to go through as well. And I think I will start. Sorry this is one of the shorter ones. I’ll add a few pictures to brighten things up. Thanks for reading and thank you again for the support. Stay safe!

Animals, Creativity, Dogs, Emotions, family, Life, Nature, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Looking Good

I did manage to get some amazing pictures yesterday. I am very excited to share them with everyone! I finally got my camera to take photos in the dark of the stars outside. It finally happened! Yay! I deleted the ones that I moved on while the shutter was open (some did look cool but it wasn’t what I was aiming for). I have two tripods that I can start using now that I have the camera dialed in. I think some of the photos will look better on a big screen (versus seeing them on a phone) because the stars are so small. Looking at them on my phone it just looks like black space but on my laptop I can see the details. I am pretty proud of them.

I am sitting in my office with the window open. The sun is out and a breeze is pushing it’s way back and forth across the yard. Both of which not only make me happy but they also melt the snow. It is supposed to rain later today as well.

Part of me doesn’t want to go to work. Not because of anything bad. I just want to stay home. I got a lot done yesterday that I wanted to do. My pen pal letter went out (not until around 6:30pm with the new carriers though), I got my interview written, submitted and published yesterday (I’ll share the link), I was able to spend time with Chris and the girls (because I made the choice not not try to call my parents on my day off… it sounds callous but if I call them then my whole day off is pretty much gone and nothing gets done) and I took some time for myself outside of the house (I had to get groceries so I just extended the drive).

WiHM 12: An Interview With Grace Kimball

I will have time before work to get things done so the question is what. Since the novel has been neglected I am thinking that will be what I focus on for atleast an hour. The girls weren’t happy when I did that yesterday (but I got my interview done). The flip side is that they were very happy with all the playing they got that afternoon and evening.

I am happy that February is over. It has not been a good month for me. And March is that much closer to Spring weather on a regular basis. Mom’s birthday is just around the corner as well. I need to ask her if we are doing dinner again this year. So here is to a new and better month! Thanks for reading and the awesome comments! Stay safe!

anxiety, Creativity, dreams, Emotions, family, Gardening, Learning, Life, Motorcycles, Nature, Photography, Riding, Thinking, Writing

Hocus Pocus I Gotta Find My Focus

This is one of those mornings that my body just aches. I asked Mom if she would mind not going today. Truthfully neither of us can afford a girls day (which is what it would turn into). She just dropped $400 at the vet’s office the other day and I guess her car needs more repairs. I told her she could have what she wanted from the seeds I had gotten for the exchange. So we will try another time to get together.

Lat night I didn’t get much sleep despite the sleep aides. I also had weird dreams when I did sleep. I dreamt of the death of three family members. This was after dreaming of a death night before last. I’m not sure what to make of all the death dreams. I haven’t had them in years.

This morning has dawned cloudy. The sun was out for a bit but a gauze of clouds moved in. Yesterday was beautiful… Everyone was in a good mood too. It was over 40F (4C)! That also helped everyone. A lot of snow got melted between the warmth and the wind. I was eye balling the drive way to see if I could get the motorcycle out if it was nice today. Still a bit thick with snow and ice. But there are shovels around so we’ll see.

I am looking at my list. It is a good list. It is an accurate list. I am hoping it will be a finished list. I already have taken care of two things on there. Most of it is writing. I need to get my head straight with my writing. I am blowing it off and I shouldn’t. That is another reason I wanted to cancel with Mom. I need to stay home and work on my writing. I haven’t done any class work lately either. I need to get my rhythm back. All the emotional drama has got me all over the place. Speaking of which Dad sent a text saying that the only text or email he received was the one he was responding to which was the one asking why he hadn’t responded to anything. I haven’t said anything to him. When I do I will point out the text from me just above that from several days ago asking how he was that got no response. I am trying not to be an ass but I am hurt and frustrated. And I don’t want to talk to him today.

I did get some pretty awesome photos yesterday morning just before dawn. I went out to warm up the car and as I was walking back to the house I happened to see the moon. She was northwest of the house and HUGE! But what made it awesome was that the clouds were flowing over her like she was set in a brook or a river. I went in and grabbed my phone camera and came back and she was gone. I was bummed but I stood out there anyway. After a few minutes the clouds revealed the moon again and I took a bunch of shots as the clouds moved over her. I will share those with you. I am quite pleased with how they turned out.

I should get this online and get writing on my interview and article. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Creativity, Emotions, family, Gardening, Life, Photography, Thinking, Writing

Projects?

Another day. Still no word from Dad. Mom on the other hand has been blowing up my phone. She is all excited about Saturday’s seed exchange in Traverse. I have everything set aside so that all I have to do is remember to grab it. I figure I will get her around 12:30pm (we are scheduled to “shop” between 1 and 2). That will give me a chance to find where we are going. Right now I’d rather stay home but the whole thing was my idea.

I get out of work early today so hopefully I can some photos taken. I didn’t get any yesterday. Before I left I was able to write and send in my article to the paper and just got out of here on time. By the time I got home the sun was already going down (I ended up staying a little late). I did get a lot accomplished last night despite myself. Laundry is done and put away (minus the last load going through the dryer), I got stuff mailed, I got my shower in…. I also have my little list I made before bed of things that need to get done this weekend (another reason I want to stay home). A lot of writing is on there. I have been blowing off quite a few projects. And that bothers me. I think that is another part of my problem. I keep not doing projects so I can do things for and with others then I am angry with myself because my pile just gets bigger. I am even more frustrated because it is all on me. My choices to do or not to do.

Speaking of projects one of my high school friends sent me two flamingo Christmas counted cross stitch patterns to do for Mom. But do I do them for her or would she get more pleasure if she did them herself? I’m not sure which. I know she would love something like that from me but I also know a project like that would make her happy and she would probably finish it in short order (unlike myself). I suppose I could show her and let her decide. That would kill the surprise factor but oh well.

Looking at the clock I guess I should get myself together and get ready for work. I’ll see if I can find some suitable photos to repost. Thanks for reading and stay safe!

anxiety, Dogs, Emotions, family, Friends, Life, Thinking, Writing

Explanations

There was no way I could write yesterday. The only writing I did was in my journal right before bed. What a mess. I am having problems with my words now. I just don’t want to deal with any of this. The long and short of it is that Mom fell down her stairs (from the loft to the living room which is something like 13 stairs) then she had things happen around the house that really freaked her out. So I ended up calling her around midnight to get her calmed down. Two hours later (maybe more as I refused to look at the clock) we hung up and I tried to get some sleep. That didn’t work so well. I called in to work and explained what happened. It was decided that I would get some sleep and call back when I woke up to see if they still needed me. Okie dokie fine. I did that (the girls and I got up at 11am so they could eat then we went back to bed). I got up for the day around 12:30pm or so. Then I saw a text message from Dad. He had a mini heart attack the day before. (I am a bit hurt and angry as I responded as soon as I saw the text but have gotten no response from him yet I told our family in the family chat and he has responded to their queries so I am finding out how he is from them.)

So I really am done adulting. Anyway I called work and to see if they still wanted me to come in and told them about Dad. I was told to go ahead and stay home. The store manager was discreet because one of my coworkers messaged me to see how I was (and to tell me my Girl Scout cookies were there). She asked me if I was feeling better so my manager said I was sick. Which is not what I am used to. I am used to everyone knowing my business. I explained to her what had happened (I guess I am still thinking that people think that I am faking things and I need to prove that I am not…. 15 years of it will ingrain that in you). She was very sympathetic. (It is also easier to explain in the written word that tell it all verbally.)

So I spent the day trying to forget. And stay out of my own head. I played with the girls as much as I could and I watched a lot of tv. I emailed the paper and told them just that Mom had fallen down the stairs and the article would be late. They were fine with that. I plan to try to do the article after I finish this (if I have time). That being said I suppose I should get to it. Atleast the sun is out.

Thanks for reading and thanks for your concern, Stay safe!